Helene’s sex education had… um… shall we say… gaps. And here she was, about to go out on a date with her first “boyfriend”. A boyfriend! She couldn’t believe it!
Her mother gave her some last minute advice:
Boys such as Alphonse have one thing in mind. Just remember that. He’ll be all over you. Boys are like octopuses; arms everywhere. Just watch he doesn’t strangle you with his tentacles.
That got Helene stumped. She went on the date. She was watchful. She wondered the whole time how a boy could possibly strangle someone with his tentacles.
To listen to the story being read click HERE!
Weave a Web 
I, too, wonder. I’ve heard of strangulated tentacles but had no idea they were so elastic. (I LOVE a good word-play. This is a good’un!)
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks! Yes – I thought it funny that she muddled tentacles with ventricles!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Helene’s English language education had even more gaps than her sex education….
LikeLiked by 2 people
Helene’s mother is obviously to blame – she doesn’t even know the plural of octopus!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Probably never heard of Ian Fleming’s gal, Octopussy , either.
LikeLiked by 3 people
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Octopussy was quite ‘armless I believe!
LikeLiked by 2 people
The plural of octopus is:
English – Octopuses
Latin – Octopi
Greek – Octopodes
I’m opting for the Greek because “octopus” is a Greek word!
LikeLike
I was taught Octopi and have always used and taught it on – I wonder if the ‘English’ version is actually American?
Cynthia do you know?
LikeLiked by 2 people
All are acceptable – “octopuses” is 17th century English. “Octopi” came in when they tried after 17th century to “Latinize” English. And Octopodes is used only in Britain and comes from the Greek – Octopus being the origin of the word!
LikeLike
And I thought you had thrown in ‘octopuses’ as a deliberate grammatical mistake! Shame on me!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I did!!!!! But I have since discovered it is allowable!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m sitting here trying to remember how many times in my life I have had occasion to pluralize an octopus…..almost never….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Helene had a craving
She wanted fish for tea
Her husband cooked up such a dish
And she slurped down octopee.
LikeLiked by 2 people
See? You DID think of a poem!! Here’s a little recipe to go with it:
One pot tea equals one pot pee.
One pot pee does not equal one pot tea.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I always was taught “octopi” just as you were….(can I say that I never saw a live octopus, so, since we were also learning suffixes, prefixes and roots at the time, “octopi” might as well have been a pie cut into eight pieces in my twisted little mind….to complicate matters, the nun who was the cook for the other nuns spoke only French and would pronounce “octopi” as “octo-pee”….which, considering the above discussion, gets us a lot closer to those tentacles…
LikeLiked by 2 people
LOL – I was trying to think of a poem to end in octopee!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aha!
http://www.merriam-webster.com/video/octopus
LikeLike
She probably knew how to text on her phone though!
LikeLiked by 1 person
U R probly rite!
LikeLiked by 2 people
tks
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wonder if she ever saw the tentacles?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Possibly she saw them if they went camping because I think tentacles are those ropes that hold a tent up??
LikeLiked by 2 people
Huh? …………. Oh, 😀 😀 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Undoubtedly the poor girl’s mother will be surprised at some point.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As indeed many a mother has in the past! (and many a father)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hopefully Alphonse played the gentleman and kept his tentacles in a sack.
LikeLiked by 2 people
😀 He possibly had no choice!
LikeLiked by 1 person
But boys have only one, unless they come from a branch of virulently mutant Ninjas! Very nice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Alphonse was clearly well-hung
LikeLiked by 1 person
Extremely!
LikeLiked by 1 person