The grouchy old archbishop was on his death bed. For decades he’d governed his diocese with a dictatorial hand. Now he was a garrulous old fool who was used to getting his own way. Despite all that, his age had given him a veneer of holiness. People were in awe.
Reverend Father Hainsworth was designated to fuss over the archbishop in his last days. Do this! Do that! The Reverend Father did it all, but never to the satisfaction of the dying archbishop. The pillow had been arranged uncomfortably.
“Get out of my sight, you blinking idiot!” shouted the archbishop. Father Hainsworth left the room. The archbishop died, alone.
“Father! Father!” entreated the swarming Press. “What were the great archbishop’s final words?”
Father Hainsworth put on his best unctuous voice: “Draw the blind, Father; I wish to sleep.”
To listen to the story being read click HERE!
Tee-hee! Good on ya, Father.
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PS How did you find that photo of my cell?
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I’ve been everywhere man….
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And now, in Confession, Father Hainsworth must accuse himself of being a liar…but wait, it was just a white lie, only a venial sin…in fact it may have even been virtue, rather than sin, because a “greater good” was served…..
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It depends if, at the time, there was an angel on the end of a pin…
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You have reminded me…wow, it’s been ages since I thought about my junior year in college…required Theology course, we spent all semester on the Summa. We were taught by the Dominicans, who always had a bone to pick with the Jesuits, just up the street at BC. Most of my classmates were smitten with Father Maher, young and handsome in his cream colored robe, but I was becoming quite agnostic at the time and cut out of as many classes as I could…..ah youth!
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LOL! Ironically I learnt most of my Summa knowledge from the Jesuits at BC (and at Weston).
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Are you sure about where the pillow was?
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Let’s hope it didn’t squash his mitre!
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It would fit, wouldn’t it?
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😀
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Father Hainsworth clearly knows how things should be in the Church. Would that they were!
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I suppose I’ve slightly “fictionalized” a real event. In the 1930s Archbishop Redwood died in New Zealand. At the time he was the oldest bishop in the word, and when he had been made a bishop he was the youngest in the world. The story does go – although unrecorded – that his “last words” differed from his “last words”.
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Heh, heh. Both diplomatic and appropos…
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!
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Haha, a little white lie for the Greater Good…a generous man that Father Hainsworth was!
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Too generous if you ask me!
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;o)
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Fitting he died alone. Much to kind Father Hainsworth. 😀 😀
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At least his pillow was comfortable.
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Was it? 😀 😀 😀
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😀 😀 One has to presume!
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For that Cardinal Sin Father Hainsworth will go to Hell, where he will join the curmudgeon
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I had to look up curmudgeon! No wonder I can’t do your crosswords!!!
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A gentleman does not speak ill of the dead.. good old Father Hainsworth
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More importantly, what were the archbishops first words after death? Looking upon heaven, he was heard to say, “much room for improvement.”
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!! Upon a request to have his pillow rearranged, an accompanying angel told him to jump in the (scolding) lake.
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I picture Father Ted and his buddies in my mind… Do you know that TV Show in New Zealand?
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Yes – I know the TV show! Father Ted would play the story well!! Drink!!
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Haha, love them Fathers 🙂
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What a beautiful close to a rather dark and cantankerous end!
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Cantankerous was the word I was looking for!!! I kept saying that “garrulous” wasn’t the right word!
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Methinks thou hast read too much of the bard.
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LOL!
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..but it does sound a lot like querulous….which could be the right word!
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Ah! Maybe it’s querulous I was looking for… Anyway, grouchy covers it!
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