Miss Munyard, although she was called May by her colleagues, was in charge of the little children new to the school. She got the children to form a circle holding hands. They danced around singing:
Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer’s wife
Who cut off their tails with the carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life as
Three blind mice?
Dear Miss Munyard,
I was amazed when Nola came home singing Three Blind Mice. The method of numeracy you apparently espouse has no bearing whatsoever on the modern mathematics that should be taught. Three mice is definitive. It’s the working out of the problem that’s important; not the answer. There could have been ten mice. It wouldn’t have mattered.
Zita Codfish
Dear Miss Munyard,
Andrew came home having had bad and dated attitudes towards blindness shoved down his throat. It’s not the way he has been brought up. Making fun of blindness while dancing around in circles is hardly the value we’re trying to instil in our young people.
Maureen and Petros Stifleburg
Dear Miss Munyard,
It’s pedagogical methods such as yours that enhance attitudes toward the world’s creatures that ultimately cause extinction. There’s nothing wrong with mice. People have them as pets. Other people trap them cruelly, or even cut off, as the rhyme Nigel came home singing said, their tails. These attitudes foster violence and lack of caring for our planet. His father gave him a good beating to try and instil better values into him than the ones you promote.
Lorna Bridgewater
Dear Ms Munyard,
That’s right, have the unnamed woman in the ditty Carolynne came home singing, have her stand at the sink and get her identity from her husband. She’s just a “farmer’s wife”. No wonder we haven’t moved on from the emancipation of the 19th century. Try and drag yourself into the 21st century. Or better still; throw yourself under a race horse and liberate a few people.
Melinda Beveridge
Dear May,
Jonathan came home from school on a high. He loves the songs you teach. He especially loved the one about the three blind mice. You certainly know how to relate to children. Jonathan worships you! I wondered if you were free again next Saturday evening?
Harry Wattleworth
To listen to the story being read click HERE!
Keep going Miss Munyard. I can’t wait to read the letters you get when you teach them Little boy blue can blow up your horn.
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Simon!! And here’s me thinking Little Miss Muffet’s tuffet was bad enough!
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Miss Munyard is misunderstood
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She certainly is!!
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Lol!!!! I’m currently a private tutor but as a past classroom teacher I’m laughing with tears in my eyes. Spot on.
Don’t forget the parents who routinely curse up storm with middle finger raised. The same of course who will line up to sue a teacher they heard through the grapevine said ‘bloody.” I’ve added this one to my favorites, Bruce. I’ll probably come back and reblog it around April Fools day 🙂
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Thanks Laine. Glad you enjoyed it!!
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I tried to look up the origin of the nursery rhyme written in 1600. A bit confusing, but for it to last over 400 years, there just has to be hook in it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Blind_Mice
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Thanks for the link. Writing a fictitious exegesis for a Nursery Rhyme could end up being a lot of fun. I think I shall put it on the to-do list!
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See how easy it is to rewrite history?
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True!
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Ha – horribly close to real life these days sadly! It is true that many nursery rhymes began life as loosely disguised anti-establishment propaganda from the common folk. I shall look forward to seeing the alternate genesis you come up with 🙂
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Teachers have only themselves to blame: if the parents hadn’t been so well educated they wouldn’t have such opinions!
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Thems not my ex-pupils!
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LOL!
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I’m glad I grew up back in the dark ages when I think I learned these rhymes at home, before I ever went to school. And can you imagine what some of these “enlightened” parents would do with the old “Bus Songs” we used to sing as children, like “I Knew An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly” and “99 Bottles of Beer On The Wall”……
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Wee Willy Winky runs through the town!
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Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown…. ( Now we can add cross-dressing to the list to taboos…)
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Hee hee! At least he didn’t “kiss the girls and make them cry”…
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True, but he did put in his thumb and pulled out a plum and said “What a good boy am I!”..oh no, wait…that wasn’t Wee Willie Winkie or Georgie Porgie, that was Jack Horner who sat in the corner…..
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The good thing is, they all ran into Doctor Foster on his way to Gloucester in a shower of rain.
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…and when he fell in a puddle up to his middle they all learned that what may appear to be a mere puddle could be something much deeper….
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And that – via the Jemima Puddleduck connection – takes us away from Nursery Rhymes and into Beatrix Potter!
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A perfect story of our stifling political correctness – with a nice twist at the end. I fear for Miss Munyard’s tenure at that school, since the parents will undoubtedly complain.
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She married Harry Wattleworth and they had nine children – which greatly delighted the principal of the school because it was a tiny country school and an increase of nine students was quite stupendous! (I don’t believe I just made all that nonsense up!)
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This is the reason five people can read the same novel and have completely different reactions. The poor mice. Didn’t people used to say ‘Poor fish?’ I wonder what that was about.
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Now you’ve got me googling “poor fish” – poor fish that I am, i.e. a victim of existential perversity!!
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Boop boop dittum dattum wattum choo!
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You have added a line of profundity – as is you want. And all over the dam.
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Existential perversity. I guess we all get that once in a while!
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It’s not quite as common as the common cold – but almost – apparently…
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I like this form of storytelling. It can cover so much as quickly as a blind bat flitting about a banyan tree. Incidentally, Harry Wattleworth is an intelligent parent.
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Agreed!
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Reblogged this on From Midnight to Dawnlight and commented:
Bruce is a clever humorist. I’m told humor is an exaggeration of the truth. As a teacher I found this story hilarious. I also found it sad in that it is not really much of an exaggeration in my experience. Happy belated April Fools Day! Please enjoy 🙂
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Thanks so much for the reblog. And happy April to you!
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You’re welcome. Happy April 🙂
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Reblogged this on Praying for Eyebrowz and commented:
Absolutely brilliant! From weaveaweb.wordpress.com.
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Thanks for the reblog!
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I must have missed this one first time round, but fortunately nananoyz reblogged it 🙂
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Thanks Derrick. Your “late” like had already made me go back and see that you had indeed missed one! I can forgive you… there are times when we need a rest from commenting (at least that’s the way I find it)!
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