Once there was a beautiful princess, called Gabriellina. Her hair shone golden as the sun. Her skin was white as fresh snow. Her lips were as red as a ripe near-rotting nectarine. Her breasts (As The Songs of Songs might say) were like a couple of sheep coming out of a sheep dip. This overall combination strikes me as quite ugly, but she wasn’t. She was… woof, woof, woof.
Her father, the king, had promised her hand in marriage to a pig. A pig! A real oink oink oink pig. Not a human being who acted like a pig, but a hog. One that makes bacon. A real grunting boar.
“You never know,” said the king. “The pig is possibly the victim of some horrible spell caste by a gruesome witch. He is really a handsome prince. The spell will be broken when my beautiful princess marries him.”
The wedding was arranged. The kingdom celebrated. There were street parties and everything.
The princess appeared on the balcony with her newly married pig. They kissed. The pig turned into a frog.
To listen to the story being read click HERE!
Weave a Web 
Have to confess to being completely beaten by that one. Excellent comic timing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, Simon. Glad it hit – wee wee wee – all the way home!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Such a delightful story, and I find it quite impossible to choose among the many delectable images which set the mental wheels in motion: would kissing a frog be better or worse than kissing a pig? How about kissing someone with near-rotting nectarine lips? As with all good stories, one is left with momentous questions at the end.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you for your delightful comment, and I do hope that the momentous questions occurring don’t impinge upon your day to the point of ruination. Else the grunting boar could become a grunting bore – sort of like Prince Charles.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Great ending Bruce – I was always disappointed when the creature turned into a perfectly boring prince at the end of the fairy tale 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s the smooching that gets me! Couldn’t they just shake hands?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Daddy needs to be deposed!
LikeLiked by 2 people
He should be forced to abdicate!
LikeLike
Oh man. Just goes to show these arranged marriages only work on a farm. Or something. This may well be my new favourite story. I’m aware i say that with simpering regularity but it’s true!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your simpering regularity is greatly appreciated!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kiss me once and kiss me twice and kiss me once again…Who knows what she’ll get eventually?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Possibly a piglet or a tadpole 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
Or maybe “in a pig’s eye!”
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL!
LikeLike
You totally got me with this one! Congratulations – great job!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Noelle. Delighted to have caught you out!
LikeLike
She’ll probably stock Old Macdonald’s Farm
LikeLiked by 1 person
E-I-E-I-O!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Noooooo!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLike
Better keep kissing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Her lips are pursed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sir, the beauty of the princess (and her breasts) brought to life by your enchanted wand has turned me into a frog. The point is, a frog is an important milestone in the very many stages of a story as has been passed down to us by our ancestors. In other words, you have the powers to transform the daft and the mundane into an interesting story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. We should all write about frogs in a leap year!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Superb shot, sir!
LikeLiked by 1 person
this is what fairytales should be – the frog, especially, how realistic!
LikeLiked by 1 person