Bernardine’s late husband had kept chickens. Nine in all. His favourite one was white with three little black feathers in its tail. He called it Turtle Dove.
Bernardine’s late husband’s flock of nine produced eight eggs daily. Which one wasn’t laying was anyone’s guess. He dreaded to think it might be Turtle Dove.
The thing was, now that her husband had passed on, Bernardine simply did not need eight eggs a day. She decided one egg a day was enough. There are some things in life that have to be done. Bernardine took the bull by the horns. She bit the bullet. One chicken killed a day was the answer. She would chop its head off, pluck it, and throw it into the freezer.
How Bernardine hated the fall of her tomahawk. The chicken’s neck was laid on the block and down came the sharp tomahawk, severing the neck. What if she missed?
The first day passed. One chicken was safely in the freezer. The next day, from the eight remaining hens, she gathered seven eggs.
After the second day she gathered six eggs. After the third day she gathered five. Down went the number of chickens until there were two remaining hens. Bernardine was getting one egg a day. One of the remaining chickens was Turtle Dove.
Bernardine chopped the head off the second to last chicken. The next day she got one egg! From Turtle Dove! What a dear chicken! Oh, but it must be lonely. So lonely.
These days, Bernadine has a flock of eleven, including Turtle Dove. A chicken needs company. Bernardine gathers ten eggs a day.
To listen to the story being read click HERE!
Phew, I was sure Turtle Dove would be the one not laying eggs! But, Bernadine, why were you so mean? Karma is going to get you one day, lass.
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Karma is all the vogue! She chopped the heads off most sensibly. Chickens don’t come out of a supermarket!
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Smash all my illusions, why don’t you?
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!!
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I didn’t see that ending coming at all! Welcome to the light side! xo
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Thanks – it’s such fun chopping heads off chickens! 😀
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That was nerve-wrecking suspense! I can hear Mr Hitchcock turning in his grave.
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The chickens were racing neck and neck to the end!!
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Goodness, I hope the chickens don’t revolt and chop off Bernadette’s head!
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She doesn’t seem to be laying any eggs!
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I know very little about chickens. Can they really still run around without a head?
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Yes – but it’s only the “death throes” – sort of a muscular/nerve flapping of wings that can last about 5 minutes cavorting/fluttering around spreading blood everywhere! A lot of people wring their necks rather than chop them off! (Twist the neck and yank it). Sorry about the gruesomeness of this – but it’s what has to be done if you’re not vegan…
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I understand how people might find this so repulsive as to become vegans. And I understand farmers who must kill chickens. What’s kind of hypocritical is to enjoy meat and deny the gruesome reality of how it comes to be on your plate. I knew of an old Sicilian woman who lived in the city and enjoyed eating “squab.” She would capture pigeons (I forget how) and drown them in the toilet. One can only wonder and imagine…
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My family has been vegetarian for generations and I have never eaten any kind of meat or fish so no hypocrisy from me Cynthia!!
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Some parents forbid their kids to name the animals because it “anthropomorphizes” them. We named all of ours – in fact, on a dairy farm it was illegal not for every cow to have a name and a number. It was something to do with tracing tuberculosis.
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You may have read about the farmer here in Rumford who named his piglets Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Supper, and Snack.
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😀 We named our first calf Prince of the Freezer!
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That’s excellent. There are so many possibilities, now that I think of it…Vianda, Fleisch, Carney, and of course, Chuck.
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Chuck would be my favourite from your list! A girl calf could be called Miss Steak!
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😀
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I presume that a squab drowned in a toilet becomes a squat.
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Tee hee…. 🙂
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Loved it!
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Thanks!
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I am distraught for the eight chickens! What changed Bernardine’s mind? and what does she do with the extra eggs? Make giant omelets?
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Two years for a chicken is old enough and then you boil it for about three hours, and then it’s tender enough to cook. Their egg laying becomes erratic usually after 2 years. I grew up having to cull the chickens – even as a little kid. I’ve always kept chickens (until now) and used to supply the school’s staff of about 30 with all their eggs – free of charge – but I’d get jams and sauces and marmalades and pickles and fruit and…
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Thanks, Bruce. I learn something new every day!
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I’d swap a few eggs to try some insects!! I still wish I had sat at your feet!
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Now THERE is something truly lovely about a childhood…..(I think)….
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Yes – I think you’re right!!
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I half expected it to be a Roald Dhal special adapted for Tales of the Unexpected! Did you ever get that show in NZ?
In all however, it was a gentle tale of karmic revenge. So many possibilities though, especially with regards to the dead husband…
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Yes, we got the Dahl series! Hans Sachs has a play about a dead husband!
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I suppose it’s an oldie but a goodie, the dead husband playing lead. Even Shakespeare plays with that one in Comedy of Errors.
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My (almost) favourite Shakespeare play!
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Which one is your favourite…?
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Richard III. You?
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As cliché as it sounds, Romeo and Juliet does a good job of haunting me at every turn, even under the disguise of West Side Story which is my husband’s favourite musical, particularly the 1961 film adaptation. I am his Maria that he had dreamt of meeting from the age of 4 when he first went to see the film in the theatre!
A Midsummer Night’s Dream is probably my favourite of all. Richard III is a powerful one. I saw both Macbeth and Hamlet from the control box, years ago while doing work experience at the National Theatre in London. Not seen Will at the Globe yet, I’m told it’s a great experience. Maybe next time I’m back in the UK. Mind you, I’ve only just left so it might be a while!
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I guess my favourite always is the one I’m watching….!
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Ha!
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You crafty little Bruce. I bet you caught us all
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Cluck, cluck!
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What happened to Bernardine’s late husband? Did he stop laying too?
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He was lying, not laying!
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As in lying in state or only pretending to be dead?
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Let us simply say (because we wouldn’t want to give too much away) that he was putting all his eggs into the one basket.
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Poor chickens, what a traumatic time Turtle Dove must have had 🙂
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She was very brave! Not chicken at all!
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I knew she wouldn’t chop off Turtle Dove’s head. But getting another ten chicken was a unexpected twist. Well done!
A friend has got two pigs, Bacon and Cabbage.
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LOL! My friends pigs are Sweetie and Rainbow!
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If I ever get a pig I’m going to name it Hamlet.
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Then if you get salmonella from the pork you can always say that “Something’s rotten in the state of Denmark”.
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LOL! When my partner used to get very upset about something, she would say “Something is rotten and it ain’t in the state of Denmark!”
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Ha! Ha! I shall use it!
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