Lottie loved karaoke night. The local club organised one night a month as a fund-raising venture. Lottie’s contribution was by far the most popular. In fact, even those dyed-in-the-wool smokers put aside their puffing in the outside porch to step inside and listen.
Blue Suede Shoes was Lottie’s tour de force. Made most famous by Elvis of course. Lottie would swing her hips as she sang, as if she was The King herself.
Well, it’s one for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
Now go, cat, go
But don’t you
Step on my blue suede shoes
You can do anything
But stay off of my blue suede shoes.
How the audience would cheer! More ! More! And Lottie would break into Wooden Heart:
Please don’t break my heart in two
That’s not hard to do
Cause I don’t have a wooden heart.
You should make a recording, people would say. And to be honest, Lottie had thought about it… More ! More!
Lottie’s contribution was popular because she was so bad at it. She couldn’t sing. She couldn’t dance. It was hilarious. People were in stitches. She got away with it because she was a born comedian. Her performances were perfection. And boy, did it rake in the money!
To listen to the story being read click HERE!
But for those blue suede shoes, it would be such a weary world. At least it would break my heart in two, for I don’t have a wooden ticker.
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It’s one for the money, two for the show!
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Good on ya, Lottie! Now, there was a faux opera singer a while back, Florence someone, who was SO bad. I hope one of your groupies knows of whom I speak!
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A Mrs Miller made a fortune doing it, I think in the ’60s!
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And, through the magic of Google, here she is. And Meryl Streep is going to star in a movie about her.
http://larrythekidman.blogspot.it/2009/10/florence-foster-jenkins-worst-opera.html
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It would be a great part to play, because you wouldn’t have to learn to sing.
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Oh my god – she was awful! And reading the comments made it all very sad. I suspect Meryl will play her to perfection however.
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I listened, also…and Oh my God! I think it’s sad if the singer takes herself/himself seriously while everyone is laughing AT rather than WITH….
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I couldn’t bear to listen to much of it 😦 At least Mrs Miler set out to entertain!
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It is sad! But it was so bad it didn’t raise a smile for me – just a feeling of horror!
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Ditto…
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I’d be a natural, how about you?
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I think I’ll take the part!
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We used to split a gut listening to Mrs. Miller in the 60’s; her specialties were “Downtown,” and “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’.” I bet she retired comfortably. If you’ve got it, flaunt it!
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I remember Mrs Miller – I don’t remember what she sounded like though, maybe I’ve blocked it out 🙂 I’m sure she wasn’t quite as awful as Yvonne’s woman – popular songs made it easier on the ears I expect 🙂
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Mrs Miller was a scream! She’s probably somewhere on You Tube…
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Mrs Miller: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw07CDid0JM
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Maybe I’ll just leave her there…
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Those were my two favourites! If you think about it, Maurice Chevalier wasn’t much better at singing but disguised it with the great skill! E.g. in Gigi!
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And in French he was even better! Conversely, I’ve known persons who have really nice singing voices but don’t know how to “deliver” a song.
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“Ah yes! I remember it well!”
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I see there is at last a venue for me to shine!
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We all expect you to sing in your garden – as if it is a great stage! How about “Down by the sally garden”?
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Could you hum a few bars please ……
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It’s a lovely, lovely song ….the lyrics by William Butler Yeats.
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These are my two favourite versions:
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Thank you for the music, Bruce….that tune makes me weep. And Maura… and Karen….ooooh yes!!
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They’re what I would call true folk singers…
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Oh yes, I do know it and just wasn’t thinking it was a real song you were suggesting. Given that I am incapable of singing a nursery rhyme in tune this suggestion would drive my poor neighbours away in droves – for while in my head I can do a superb job, in reality it would be horribly like your heroine!
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But Pauline, your neighbors—and we—would not notice, that you were lip-synching a CD of Maura O’Connell as it played carefully hidden under the leaves of one of your beautiful plants!
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😀
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If Prince Charles talks to his plants I see no reason why you shouldn’t sing to yours!
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I talk to mine and sometimes hum – a bit like Pooh when there is a jar of honey near-by……
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LOL!
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If you’ve ever watched the British sitcom “Keeping Up Appearances”, the character Hyacinth Bucket (excuse me, Hyacinth Bouquet) sings like Mrs. Miller. The man next door, who is a musician, is always hiding from her because, as he says, “she’ll sing at me!”
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Loved that sitcom. Her Candlelight Suppers!
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…and her Royal Doulton china with the hand-painted periwinkles!
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And her terrible sister and brother-in-law!
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She also had a brother-in-law named Bruce who was ..er….problematic…he was married to her sister Violet, (whom we knew only through phone calls)…you know, the one who owned a Mercedes and whose place had room for a pony…?
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The slobby bro-in-law (not the Bruce) used to be a character in a British soap called “Coronation Street”. He was hilarious! He once sold a paint-by-numbers picture whose paint had run as an expensive piece of modern art.
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Daisy and O-something. And let us not forget Rose. I always loved it when they were in the show.
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I had forgotten that those were the names!
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Hyacinth, Daisy, Rose and Violet….were the names. Do you sense a theme here?
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They’re all named after cows?
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Yes, a bovine bouquet! (or bucket)
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Thank you for the bunch! Moo!
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I used to love that show!
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Lottie taking her work seriously saddens me. A person can sometimes be so consumed by delusion that they’re unable to see things from any other vantage point. I’ve been in that dark place myself, back when I was this naive kid who thought he’d definitely make the football team!
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We have different personalities! I’ve never minded failure!
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Failure definitely haunts me, but I think the belief that I may be good at something I actually suck at haunts me more. It’s a dangerous place to be in. You could spend your life fantasizing, and waste precious moments that you could have used to love, to learn and to grow.
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It never hurts to do things you suck at. You can certainly write – that’s for sure. Although I prefer your writing when it’s full of imagination and not too much angst!
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Thank you so much. It means a lot coming from you. Ha ha. I would love to explore other themes and write more imaginative stuff, but I’m a lonely twenty seven year old who spends his free time listening to grunge! Maybe I should listen to more jazz!
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Listen to EVERYTHING! I never understand those who limited themselves to one flavour of ice cream!
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Ha ha. Yeah I do listen to everything. Of late it’s been too much grunge. You’re right, I should broaden my horizons.
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Start with Erik Satie. He’s sort of like Nirvana but without guitar and 80 years earlier!!
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Ha ha. I’ve listened to Gymnopédie. I first heard it when I was playing this video game.It was a modern version of it, with drum beats and stuff. I should definitely explore his work more.
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I enjoy going to karaoke nights even when there are bad singers 🙂
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I don’t think I’ve ever been to one! I’d be too terrified that I might be asked to sing!
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There are so many people willing to do it that there is no chance you will be asked !
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One day I shall try it then. Levin is not riddled with Karaoke bars!! In fact, it’s not riddled with anything!
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lol 🙂
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I spent a week in Australia, many years ago, (escaping winter in NZ), ended up on the sunshine coast, freezing. There was that weird complex nearby, where I would go to get warm. Some people were dancing, some people were karaoking, this is when I got hooked. Karaoke is the new tragedy. I loved it !
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WOW! I’ve never been to Australia! And yes! I need a new tragi-comedy!
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🙂
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Wow, we’ve had the full range of singing. I could only do about 10 seconds of that opera singer and Mrs. Miller (who’s new to me) reminded me of a dog getting up a slow howl. The other two were indeed good, but I’m always put off at the point of the love’s little snow white feet. Don’t do it, Pauline!!! No good can come of it!
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Throw off your shoes, Pauline, and sing barefooted and full-throated to your Michaelmas Daisies.
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Enthusiasm is everything!
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Is there such a thing as a good karaoke singer? Lovely recordings.
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And they think they’re so good….it’s no wonder they can’t sing, they’re obviously tone deaf 🙂
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Being able to sing would be one of my biggest wishes!
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Each of us have our individual talents – as long as she was happy and the audience entertained, I’d say she was a smashing success!
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I can’t sing either!
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Same here!
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