815. Elaine worked in a pharmacy

43 Replies

815elaine

Elaine was quite the wrong person to work in a pharmacy. The pharmacy was the sole pharmacy in the small town. Elaine knew everyone’s ailments, and she couldn’t help but let things occasionally slip.

“You shouldn’t be eating that,” she said to Nora at the church bazaar. “You know the doctor has put you on atorvastatin.”

“The doctor put Herbie on isosorbide mononitrate. I said to him that I hoped the heart specialist stopped the 100mg of aspirin, but oh no, he’s on both and I told him it will be the death of him.”

“You’d be amazed at how many people in this town have genital warts. Donald Willesford has them – on the scrotum I belief. Donald Willesford! Who would have believed it?”

“Sheila must be the only one left in town who hasn’t succumbed to the flu. Of course, she never got the flu shot last Fall, which just goes to show how effective that flu inoculation really is.”

“Caroline has a terrible rash. She’s using the wrong stuff. I told her to use Silky Primrose Body Lotion. She didn’t listen.”

Elaine was sacked by the pharmacy. The Union fought for her; she had been unlawfully dismissed. She was awarded a large sum of money and had her job offered back. She refused to accept her job back. Someone else has now employed her, warts and all.

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43 thoughts on “815. Elaine worked in a pharmacy”

  2. Cynthia Jobin

    In our small town the pharmacy was called “the drugstore.” Besides the usual medicines it had a lunch counter/soda fountain where the local idlers always gathered. One day my grandmother—a prim and proper lady-like person—took me along with her to the drugstore with the promise of an ice cream soda when we got there. I was sitting on a high stool at the counter eagerly waiting as she made a purchase, when her cashier yelled across the room for all to hear: “What’s the price on Preparation H?” At the time I did not understand her embarrassment and anger, nor why we left without having that ice cream soda. I did remember the name “Preparation H” but it was many years before I learned what it was for.

    Liked by 4 people

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    2. Bruce Goodman Post author

      You just about gave me haemorrhoids laughing at the drugstore incident! I had to Google a few things! Oh the divergence of our common language continues! I used the word “pharmacy” because I thought it was more universal than what we call the “chemist”. And I always thought an American “Drug Store” was what we called a “Dairy” – sort of the corner grocery shop (but it doesn’t sell pharmaceutical products). I hope, since those years, that you got your ice cream soda!

      Liked by 3 people

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      1. Cynthia Jobin

        Yes, I’ve had many a lovely ice cream soda since then. I had hemorrhoids once, too, when I was in my twenties. That Preparation H is good stuff…it has instructions with the packaging, warning you not to eat it…..

        Liked by 1 person

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    1. Cynthia Jobin

      Did you know that they took an ingredient (not sure what) out of Preparation H in the US and now the original formula can only be gotten in Canada? What’s even more interesting is that the Canadians subsequently discovered it works wonders as an anti-wrinkle cream for facial skin, and they’ve made a bundle selling it here as a cosmetic item!

      Liked by 3 people

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        1. Cynthia Jobin

          Now there you go with the language again, and I’m laughing so hard tears may soon be running down my legs….they used to tell us, when I was in grammar school, not to sit on the stone wall in the schoolyard in winter because we would get PILES! Piles of what? I questioned, (but silently.)

          (Those winters were so cold, I remember one little boy actually did get his tongue stuck to the metal railing between the girls’ schoolyard, and the boys’ schoolyard.)

          Liked by 1 person

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  10. simon682

    Unfortunately I don’t think Elaine is unique. She may be breaking confidentiality elsewhere but at least the good people of the small town can now once more treat their genital warts in peace.

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. Andrew

    But aren’t our medical records public anyway? I believe the NHS has a history of leaving them on landfill sites. And we’ll all be hacked by a 14 year old Sino-Russian computer whizz who will sell our records to Big Pharma (not Farmer Bigg).

    Liked by 1 person

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