Old Granny Brown figured a way to make a little money. She had always loved her goats. She had three nanny goats. She used them for milk and would make cheese.
Now that her husband had passed away, she could ill-afford to keep them; until she came up with her wonderful idea: she would sell the milk! She placed a sign at her gate: FRESH GOAT’S MILK! The milk was very popular, so much so, that Granny Brown wondered if she shouldn’t get another goat. She decided against it. Selling goat’s milk at the gate was so she could keep the three goats she already had and loved. There was no need to be greedy.
In the meantime, the Right Honourable Mr Stanislaus McCready, Member of Parliament for West Shaffton, introduced a bill into Parliament. We really must stop this unhealthy sale of goat’s milk on the road side. The milk has not been treated. Goodness knows what diseases are been passed on to the general population. The selling of goat’s milk at gates became illegal.
Granny Brown had to stop her sales. She could no longer afford to keep her beloved goats. In the new year, the Right Honourable Mr Stanislaus McCready, Member of Parliament for West Shaffton, was given the country’s highest award. He was now a Member of the Imperial Empire’s Brigade (MIEB) for services to the health of the nation. He had served the nation with his altruistic actions.
Not long after, the Right Honourable Mr Stanislaus McCready, Member of Parliament for West Shaffton, announced his retirement from politics. He owned a large goat farm and cheese-making factory, he said, and wished to put all his energies into developing that.
To listen to the story being read click HERE!
Shafter
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Derrick! Such language!
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He reminds me of Rik Mayall’s character Alan B’Stard – in [I think maybe] the 80’s……… Do you remember this Derrick?
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I am descended from both of the names Bastard and Honey. It makes life fairly unpredictable.
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Well, dare I say, that does explain a lot xo 🙂
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😀
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I do, Pauline.
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If that doesn’t really get your goat!!!
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She needs to take the bull by the horns.
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B*st*rd!!!
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He was a rat!
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Or, a weasel
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Granny needs to be a shrew…
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Ain’t that the vole truth!
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A skunk!
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Have you ever seen/smelled one of those in your wanderings, Bruce?
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My dog got sprayed in Quebec. Wash it in tomato juice was the recommendation. It seemed to work – (after several months!)
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The slow working miracle cure, tomato juice. (I say toe-may-toe, you say toe-mah-toe)
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I say ta-maher-toe sawsss on my fush n chups.
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Oh, good grief! I forgot the Kiwi version.
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Is that the same as catsup (ketchup)?
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Yes, in Australia “toe-mah-toe source” is the same as catsup/ketchup. (Where in heck did those latter 2 names come from!?)
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I will have to google that sometime….
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I’m not sure – but sort of… the shops seem to sell both tomato sauce and ketchup… and every other variety like “smoked”… I don’t overly like it in fact. I prefer plum sauce and wonder why anyone would want anything else if you can have plum sauce!
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plum sauce : ketchup = sweet : tart
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I would find it the other way round! Plum sauce is a lot more “vinegary”?
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Got my goat! She should sell her goats to him at an exorbitant price, telling him if he doesn’t pay the asked for price, she’ll go back to selling the milk at her gate.
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Now now! She must not be a silly-billy!
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Another wholly accurate, political shenanigans inspired story. This is one place where there could have been a body and I would have cheered!
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You want me to kill of Granny? Oh dear 😦 !!
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Don’t be obtuse Sir!
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Like a triangle!
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Oh, [that took a moment] haha!! 😀
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!
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You must admit, Pauline, that Bruce is equilateral when it comes to murdering his characters….
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You’ve made me feel quite isotoxal!
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And now you’re getting a-cute…..
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Thanks – it’s nice to have transversal appeal.
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As if in a dream…Isosceles…..and you were chief among them….
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Sounds like a Eureka moment!
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And P.S. I must admit that I rather enjoyed killing off the two main characters in the first page of my novel!
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That was very post-modern of you, too!
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Thank you again – I like to pretend to be post-modern, but deep down I’m probably conservative as hell!
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This is one of those stories that has the ring of truth. Which makes me wonder, if truth were a ring would there be a stone set in it?
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Where did you get that expression from? I don’t know the story per se as actually happening, but I live in a Nanny State where the government thinks its job is to make sure no one gets a common cold by make draconian laws to protect everyone from themselves….
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I think that expression “ring of truth” is more about the sound of ringing, as of a bell that rings….more than any truth of a wedding or a donut ring… 🙂
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There’s also the “wring of truth” (!)where you twist someone’s arm until they spout out what you want to hear. There are various wrings – the neck, the arm, and what we called “the Chinese burn” which is to twist the wrist in two directions.
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We called that last one Chinese Torture….
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I wonder if he felt sheepish 😉
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I would imagine not!
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This is a better version of one that I read along the same lines called Placenta Stew!
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A wicked twist and a potent satire on our times. I like the way you hold it up till the very last words.
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Thank you!
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