793. Wilma’s pet axolotl


Wilma was enthusiastic. She had finished her teacher training. She had applied for a job at the local school. She landed her first teaching job after her very first interview. She was to teach a class of six year olds. How wonderful! Wilma spent most of her summer preparing for the up-and-coming new school year.

Her classroom was a picture: colourful paintings and posters and blocks and educational toys and everything… just everything. And pride of place was a real live axolotl. The children would learn to care for it; to feed it and keep its living quarters clean.

The first day arrived! Welcome children! Welcome! Let’s learn everyone’s names!…

… And last, but not least, is the classroom’s pet Axolotl. His name is Joachim. Say hello to Joachim, children.

Wilma enthusiastically gesticulated towards Joachim, who lay there, in his living quarters, stark raving dead. As stiff as a board.

34 thoughts on “793. Wilma’s pet axolotl

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Oooh – I don’t like them at all – dead or alive. They spook me out! I think the story suggested by exiledprospero conveys that! I had a niece who had a pet axolotl. Disgusting thing. (The axolotl, not the niece).

  1. Andrew

    One of our gerbils was trodden on by a visiting child once. And Fred the Hamster sought asylum in the gas fire. Probably still there. We never kept axolotls, dead or alive. It could be pining for the fjords. I had a guppy once. Swap?

  2. wolfberryknits

    Aw it seems I’m a solo axolotl lover…I had a chocolate brown one called Horaldo for a couple of years in my late teens…I remember my answering machine message began ‘you’ve called Bianca and Horaldo…’ 🙂 I loved that thing. They are quite incredible anatomically. I fed him chunks of beef heart and always wondered how they would eat that in the wild, imagining gangs of them bringing down a cow….. M hates them because he claims one once bit him at school. I am skeptical. 🙂

  3. Twisted Short Stories

    OMG! You did it again! Someone else died! Now this will knock your little socks off. My Year 4 teacher had a pet axolotl that he kept in an aquarium at the back of the classroom. One person that had been good in class all day was allowed to touch him and feed him. Since then I’ve always wondered what they feel like.

  4. simon682

    Once looked after someone’s hamster; it died. I replaced it. She realised it wasn’t the same hamster. Upset all round. Didn’t realise at the time that this is par for the course when ‘looking after’ a hamster. Thanks for the story. Now if anyone asks me to look after their Axolotl at least I’ll know it’s a fish!

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      I shall never look after the hamster of another. In fact, although hamsters feature in pet literature rather extensively, I’ve never seen a hamster! I don’t think they’re in New Zealand…!!! I take it they’re sort of a cross between a guinea pig and a rat! We should reach an agreement: I won’t look after your hamster if you won’t look after my axolotl.


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