It was summer. Averil didn’t have a runny nose, but she was a bit sniffly. A dab with a tissue would be adequate to satisfy her desire to attend to the matter. She could have wiped her nose on her sleeve (while no one was watching of course) but she was wearing a sleeveless light summer dress.
The trouble was, she was in the supermarket and had already piled her trolley high with the week’s groceries. She would simply have to sniffle her way through the check-out.
Suddenly, on one of the shelves, Averil spied a box of tissues. She opened it, fully intending to place it in her trolley and pay for it on the way out.
A shop “warden” saw her open the box of tissues, and marched her off to the supermarket office where she was interrogated.
“But I was going to pay for it,” said Averil. Her summer dress didn’t have a pocket and she was still holding the used tissue in her hand. She used the bin in the office.
“We’ve heard that one before,” said the “warden”. “We’re trying to stamp out thieves this summer, and you’re the first on the list. I’ve a good mind to call the police.”
After one and a half hours, Averil was dismissed with a warning. She was told never to shop there again.
Averil drove home, grocery-less, and bawling her eyes out. With not a tissue in sight.
Listen to the story being read HERE!
That must be based on a true event, Bruce. Either way it’s a good one
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I did make it up! But I have occasionally been tempted to wipe my nose on my arm!
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It must have happened 🙂
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Indeed! And a tissue is not the only issue!
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I have no trouble believing this is at least based on an actual event. Sometimes the thin blue line is more like a thick blue line.
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I guess these big department stores must lose thousands a year… which is nothing to sneeze about!
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I’m sure they build these ‘shrinkage’ losses into their prices. It’s unusual to see them post a loss, isn’t it?
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When I pay more taxes than Air New Zealand you know they’ve got good accountants!
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Or a thick green line in this case …
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😀
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Inspiration comes to you from everywhere. I am amazed 🙂
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Thank you, Sylvie! (To each their own – I can’t speak French!)
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Poor Averil! I have sniffed my way round many a supermarket – and it looks like I must continue to do so………
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Always carry a hanky!
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That’s what my aunt always told me too.
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Your aunt was obviously a very wise lady.
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The Moral of the story (for Pauline): When you go to the supermarket, always wear something with sleeves.
[from the same book that says: always wear clean underwear, in case you get in an accident].
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I wonder where/how the origin and universality of clean underwear became so heavily ingrained into the folk lore. I’m sure the Victorians – who took a bath about once a year – didn’t worry too much about the state of their smalls!
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If one were to get into a really frightful accident, the question of clean smalls would be moot.
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LOL! In that case, one would be relieved that at least one had a clean handkerchief.
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As a former nurse, I have to confirm that we pointed fingers of scorn to those who showed up in Casualty in dirty underwear. Only if they had a letter from their mother were they allowed in.
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The mother should surely have checked before they left the house: clean hanky, clean underwear. The finger of scorn should have been pointed at the letter-writing mothers who refused to check.
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We never, ever gave that any consideration. Now, I apologise to all those who were left to languish until someone arrived with clean undies for them. In the pre-mobile phone days, this could take considerable time.
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We all have much to regret as we go through life…
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And Pauline should nose better!
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I have a confession. Sometimes I drop by just for the comments.
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That’s very rude of you Susanne, and therefore greatly appreciated.
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OMG, that could have been me!! I get rhinitis all year round and one day I forgot my hanky/pocket tissues, my fantastic local Woolworths let me open a box of tissues before I paid for it! I am a loyal WW shopper 🙂
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Snot bad of them!
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Some stores actively prosecute shoplifting, and a store near me apparently gets terrible losses from it. But usually, real shoplifters have a whole stash of stuff, not just a full grocery cart and some tissues. I often see people handing cashiers empty packages to ring up in the grocery store, since they dragged their hungry children in. So I hope no NZ CEOs purchase grocery stores here…
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Well, I must admit you do see empty packages getting scanned over here as well… I once taught a kid who was a master shop-lifter – and he could walk out of a store with over 20 long-playing records under his jacket. Five-finger discount I think they call it.
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Oh, my. What’s he doing now?
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I would imagine he would be a guest of the Government!
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I must confess … I have a bit of a thing about people opening goods inside stores. Most certainly a carry over from my previous profession … !
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The one that gets me is people trying the grapes!
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Yes …. I call them the buffet shoppers. They tend to be the people you also see an aisle later, roughly banging through such produce as apples … bruising all they won’t choose to purchase. I feel I should sport horse blinkers when I go shopping sometimes … I don’t want to see this sort of thing! Drives me bonkers … or maybe I should say bananas given what we are discussing!
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The squeezed avocados get to me!
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Rough handling of avocados should mean immediate ejecting from the store.
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If the store kept all its rotten tomatoes in a special section of the vegetable stands, then the other customers could take the matter into their own hands and stone the avocado/banana squeezers.
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A few stale loaves of Italian bread thrown in with the rotten tomatoes may make them reconsider future fruit and vegetable abuse.
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I detect a grain of your former profession that won’t go away!
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I think I may have just been brought up with a few manners. People deciding they don’t want to purchase something and can’t be bothered taking two steps to return said goods to it’s rightful place in the world is another thing I twitch at. Maybe I owned a grocery shop in a past life! LOL!
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My biggest supermarket hate is the two people with trolleys deep in conversation blocking the aisle.
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And one or both parties actually look at you … but they still don’t move … or one makes a feeble attempt by allowing one wheel of the trolley to move about a centimetre…. tut….! We’d be fun going shopping together!
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Yes! And you’re paying!
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Perhaps she was a serial sniffler. Of course she was a serial sniffler. That is the point of the story, is it not?
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Serial snifflers are serious snufflers….
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It’s important when you want to take a stand against crime to start with the serious offenders. Batman would be proud.
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Certainly – tissues are not to be sneezed at.
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Snot at all.
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Blow!
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Every body’s worst nightmare. I see people take drinks off the shelf, open them, drink and put the empty in the basket to pay. It’s a bit odd but why not.
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At least she didn’t return the used tissue to the box!
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S’not allowed.
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I never thought I’d be so grateful for an apostrophe!
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There is a sad lack of common sense these days.
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