779. Oh for a tissue!

779tissue

It was summer. Averil didn’t have a runny nose, but she was a bit sniffly. A dab with a tissue would be adequate to satisfy her desire to attend to the matter. She could have wiped her nose on her sleeve (while no one was watching of course) but she was wearing a sleeveless light summer dress.

The trouble was, she was in the supermarket and had already piled her trolley high with the week’s groceries. She would simply have to sniffle her way through the check-out.

Suddenly, on one of the shelves, Averil spied a box of tissues. She opened it, fully intending to place it in her trolley and pay for it on the way out.

A shop “warden” saw her open the box of tissues, and marched her off to the supermarket office where she was interrogated.

“But I was going to pay for it,” said Averil. Her summer dress didn’t have a pocket and she was still holding the used tissue in her hand. She used the bin in the office.

“We’ve heard that one before,” said the “warden”. “We’re trying to stamp out thieves this summer, and you’re the first on the list. I’ve a good mind to call the police.”

After one and a half hours, Averil was dismissed with a warning. She was told never to shop there again.

Averil drove home, grocery-less, and bawling her eyes out. With not a tissue in sight.

56 thoughts on “779. Oh for a tissue!

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      I wonder where/how the origin and universality of clean underwear became so heavily ingrained into the folk lore. I’m sure the Victorians – who took a bath about once a year – didn’t worry too much about the state of their smalls!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
        1. Yvonne

          As a former nurse, I have to confirm that we pointed fingers of scorn to those who showed up in Casualty in dirty underwear. Only if they had a letter from their mother were they allowed in.

          Liked by 3 people

          Reply
            1. Yvonne

              We never, ever gave that any consideration. Now, I apologise to all those who were left to languish until someone arrived with clean undies for them. In the pre-mobile phone days, this could take considerable time.

              Liked by 2 people

              Reply
  1. arlingwoman

    Some stores actively prosecute shoplifting, and a store near me apparently gets terrible losses from it. But usually, real shoplifters have a whole stash of stuff, not just a full grocery cart and some tissues. I often see people handing cashiers empty packages to ring up in the grocery store, since they dragged their hungry children in. So I hope no NZ CEOs purchase grocery stores here…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Well, I must admit you do see empty packages getting scanned over here as well… I once taught a kid who was a master shop-lifter – and he could walk out of a store with over 20 long-playing records under his jacket. Five-finger discount I think they call it.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Belinda Crane

        Yes …. I call them the buffet shoppers. They tend to be the people you also see an aisle later, roughly banging through such produce as apples … bruising all they won’t choose to purchase. I feel I should sport horse blinkers when I go shopping sometimes … I don’t want to see this sort of thing! Drives me bonkers … or maybe I should say bananas given what we are discussing!

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
                  1. Belinda Crane

                    I think I may have just been brought up with a few manners. People deciding they don’t want to purchase something and can’t be bothered taking two steps to return said goods to it’s rightful place in the world is another thing I twitch at. Maybe I owned a grocery shop in a past life! LOL!

                    Liked by 1 person

                    Reply
                    1. Belinda Crane

                      And one or both parties actually look at you … but they still don’t move … or one makes a feeble attempt by allowing one wheel of the trolley to move about a centimetre…. tut….! We’d be fun going shopping together!

                      Liked by 1 person

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