769. Country life

769riverview

Burkhardt and Gulland were more than a successful law firm; they were husband and wife. Gerard Burkhardt and Vivienne Gulland both made lawyer’s salaries as well!

“Wouldn’t it be lovely, darling,” said Vivienne, “to live in the country?”

And they did! They bought a magnificent mansion with a view overlooking a river valley.

Oh country air! The country life! The call of birds! Nature at its best! The view! And only a forty minute drive to work! But…

“The smell, darling! The neighbour has pigs! Pigs!”

They took the farmer to court and won.

“And the bleating of the lambs, darling, when they’re weaned from their mothers. It goes on for days. Never! Never again!”

They took the farmer to court and won.

“And the cow manure on the car, darling! The farmer drove his cows along the unpaved road and left poo behind.”

They took the farmer to court and won.

Oh country air! The country life! The call of birds! Nature at its best! The view! And only a forty minute drive to work!

39 thoughts on “769. Country life

  1. Keith Channing

    This would be funny if it weren’t so near to true. New residents in a village close to where I used to live wrote a letter of complaint to the parish council because lorries transporting hay weren’t properly secured, and small pieces of the stuff were blown off, into their garden and sullied their immaculate lawn. And all those tractors they insist on driving on our lanes while we’re trying to drive to work or the children to school. How inconsiderate.
    Boo-hoo!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          One cannot help but think that bovine flatulence is crap! However, my oldest brother has spent 20 years on developing grass grown for cattle food that prevents a high degree of farting. (I’m not kidding!) And he’s perilously close to a break-through!

          Liked by 2 people

          Reply
  2. southamptonoldlady

    It does have a ring of truth. During the boom, wealthy Londoners starting buying up places in Hampshire, Wiltshire and Dorset whereby they could get away for their weekend retreat which was not too far. I kept quail and had endless complaint from one couple that they were so noisy in the morning. Another was forced to kill her cockerel, but what really drove me back to living in the City was a court case to stop the local Parish Church bells ringing on a Sunday morning – they won!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          LOL! You are perhaps suggesting (in the words of Jonathan Swift) that lawyers are “the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth”?

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply

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