769. Country life

769riverview

Burkhardt and Gulland were more than a successful law firm; they were husband and wife. Gerard Burkhardt and Vivienne Gulland both made lawyer’s salaries as well!

“Wouldn’t it be lovely, darling,” said Vivienne, “to live in the country?”

And they did! They bought a magnificent mansion with a view overlooking a river valley.

Oh country air! The country life! The call of birds! Nature at its best! The view! And only a forty minute drive to work! But…

“The smell, darling! The neighbour has pigs! Pigs!”

They took the farmer to court and won.

“And the bleating of the lambs, darling, when they’re weaned from their mothers. It goes on for days. Never! Never again!”

They took the farmer to court and won.

“And the cow manure on the car, darling! The farmer drove his cows along the unpaved road and left poo behind.”

They took the farmer to court and won.

Oh country air! The country life! The call of birds! Nature at its best! The view! And only a forty minute drive to work!

39 thoughts on “769. Country life

  1. thecontentedcrafter

    Ah, sanitised country air – filled with weed killer fumes, inorganic chemical air drops for green pastures and water purifying tablets to disguise the oil spills on the water…………. lucky, lucky lawyers!!

    Reply
  2. Keith Channing

    This would be funny if it weren’t so near to true. New residents in a village close to where I used to live wrote a letter of complaint to the parish council because lorries transporting hay weren’t properly secured, and small pieces of the stuff were blown off, into their garden and sullied their immaculate lawn. And all those tractors they insist on driving on our lanes while we’re trying to drive to work or the children to school. How inconsiderate.
    Boo-hoo!

    Reply
        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          One cannot help but think that bovine flatulence is crap! However, my oldest brother has spent 20 years on developing grass grown for cattle food that prevents a high degree of farting. (I’m not kidding!) And he’s perilously close to a break-through!

          Reply
            1. Bruce Goodman Post author

              The brother doesn’t have any money and lives in the middle of nowhere! But he has spent his life “inventing” things and as soon as it works he gives it away and moves to the next enthusiasm!

              Reply
  3. exiledprospero

    Time for the farmer to have verbal intercourse with his own lawyers, who have a sixty-five minute drive to work, but are a little hungrier.

    Reply
  4. southamptonoldlady

    It does have a ring of truth. During the boom, wealthy Londoners starting buying up places in Hampshire, Wiltshire and Dorset whereby they could get away for their weekend retreat which was not too far. I kept quail and had endless complaint from one couple that they were so noisy in the morning. Another was forced to kill her cockerel, but what really drove me back to living in the City was a court case to stop the local Parish Church bells ringing on a Sunday morning – they won!

    Reply
      1. inesephoto

        Oh no! (not being a vegetarian) The first things are of a great use. It is why they decrease in their numbers and have to be bred. The second things just uncontrollably multiply.

        Reply
        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          LOL! You are perhaps suggesting (in the words of Jonathan Swift) that lawyers are “the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth”?

          Reply

You don't have to be a fat cat to chat...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.