It constantly amazes me how wrongful misinformation has been perpetuated down the centuries. The Three Little Pigs’ names were Marjorie, Eleanor and Constantia. Clearly, because they were builders by profession, the sexist yesteryears couldn’t bear to think of the pigs as females. Book illustrators portrayed them in men’s clothing for eons.
There they are now, all crowded into Constantia’s brick house.
“Go away, you dirty Big Bad Wolf,” bellowed Marjorie from the upstairs window.
But who is this appearing? Why! It’s Little Red Riding Hood on a horse!
“Hands up!” shouted Little Red Riding Hood, pointing a gun at the Big Bad Wolf. Little Red Riding Hood flung back the red hood.
“He’s a boy!” snorted Eleanor excitedly. “Little Red Riding Hood’s a boy!”
“Yeah,” said Little Riding Hood, “my real name is Jason. I have no idea why they paint me as a girl.”
“Save us!’” cried the Three Little Pigs. “Shoot the Big Bad Wolf!”
Little Red Riding Hood pulled the trigger and shot the Big Bad Wolf dead.
“The Big Bad Wolf won’t be chasing you three chicks again,” said Little Red Riding Hood. “That’s the end of Celine and her fearful marauding.”
Listen to the story being read HERE!
Little Red Riding Hood’s a boy? “That’d be weird,” my colleague said. 😀 This story makes me laugh.
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Glad to have made you laugh!
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This is absolutely brilliant! If you could find a feminist or anti-sexism publication with a sense of humor (perhaps, sadly, an oxymoron) you should get it published!!
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LOL! Thanks! What I enjoy most about it, is the fact that the retelling is probably even more sexist than the originals!
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Indeed….and there’s the brilliance!
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😀
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Ah – an excellent outing! I always wondered about those chintz curtains at the windows!!
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! Thanks! There could be only two explanations for the chint – the 3 little pigs were girls, or Little Red Riding Hood was gay!
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‘chicks’? sexism dies hard
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! I was going to say “Sheilas” but I wasn’t sure if Northern Hemisphere readers understood the Australasian phraseology!
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Oh, we do – Bruce 🙂
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Well that’s a relief!!!
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And, the Big Bad Wolf … hermaphrodite???
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Female – Celine: although in my reading I pronounced it as Say-lean. Which was the way all NZ Celine’s that I knew pronounced their names until Celine Dion came along.
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Anything ending in -ine, -een, or -ette has to be a girl…..but if you wanted the wolf hermaphrodite you could have named it Robin, Shirley, Marion, or Joyce……
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I nearly had Little Red Riding Hood declare: “I shall get my sister Robin Hood onto it”. Kim is another unisex name…
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As well as: Sam, Riley, Logan, Harper and of course had this pig tail taken place in South America: JoseMaria or MariaJose
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LOL! I love this. Celine and her fearful marauding! Some lovely gender bending here.
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I presume a bent gent is a bended gender? !
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Who am I to say?
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!!
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😉
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What a fabulous way to take a different look at fairy tales.Their gender roles have been so dug in for so long! Loved this!
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Thanks Noelle! I have always been a fairy tale fan!
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Haha. Did you ever read The Fractured Fairytales? This piece should have been in that collection.
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No I haven’t read it, but shall seek it out thanks!
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Jason? Jason? I’m sorry – Celine I can accept but Jason? A gunslinging hero called Jason? Did he have any Argonauts? If not then I think this story lacks credibility. Now Andrew would have been a good name. Not Jason.
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I was covering up. It WAS Andrew – but he didn’t want his real identity disclosed – which is why he wears a hood. Having said that, Jason is not too bad a name for a hero. Haven’t you heard of Jason and the Beanstalk, and Jason in the Lion’s Den?
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I thought it was Lydia and the Beanstalk and Pandora in the Lion’s Den. Childhood confusion probably. I do vaguely recall Jasonstiltskin.
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You’ve been planting too many roses!
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That is one thoughtful story about sex-stereotyping
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Thanks!!
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Hmmm…so we all grew up listening to a pig in a poke?! Well ain’t that a joke?
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Very clever!
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That’s me, A Clever Swine!
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You do think different 🙂
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LOL!
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It isn’t as simple as it reads. There are centuries of pent up emotions in there.
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All nursery rhyme/folk story heroes/heroines should be equipped with modern machine guns.
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