766. Pigs

766pigs

It constantly amazes me how wrongful misinformation has been perpetuated down the centuries. The Three Little Pigs’ names were Marjorie, Eleanor and Constantia. Clearly, because they were builders by profession, the sexist yesteryears couldn’t bear to think of the pigs as females. Book illustrators portrayed them in men’s clothing for eons.

There they are now, all crowded into Constantia’s brick house.

“Go away, you dirty Big Bad Wolf,” bellowed Marjorie from the upstairs window.

But who is this appearing? Why! It’s Little Red Riding Hood on a horse!

“Hands up!” shouted Little Red Riding Hood, pointing a gun at the Big Bad Wolf. Little Red Riding Hood flung back the red hood.

“He’s a boy!” snorted Eleanor excitedly. “Little Red Riding Hood’s a boy!”

“Yeah,” said Little Riding Hood, “my real name is Jason. I have no idea why they paint me as a girl.”

“Save us!’” cried the Three Little Pigs. “Shoot the Big Bad Wolf!”

Little Red Riding Hood pulled the trigger and shot the Big Bad Wolf dead.

“The Big Bad Wolf won’t be chasing you three chicks again,” said Little Red Riding Hood. “That’s the end of Celine and her fearful marauding.”

39 thoughts on “766. Pigs

  1. Andrew

    Jason? Jason? I’m sorry – Celine I can accept but Jason? A gunslinging hero called Jason? Did he have any Argonauts? If not then I think this story lacks credibility. Now Andrew would have been a good name. Not Jason.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      I was covering up. It WAS Andrew – but he didn’t want his real identity disclosed – which is why he wears a hood. Having said that, Jason is not too bad a name for a hero. Haven’t you heard of Jason and the Beanstalk, and Jason in the Lion’s Den?

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