758. Winifred Seacock’s devotion

758devotion

Winifred Seacock had devoted her life to saving the Taranaculus clivisphorum. In fact, she was given an award for her efforts by her country. “Awarded for preserving the Taranaculus clivisphorum for future generations,” said the citation. Winifred wore the medal with pride. She wore it only on formal occasions mind you; she wasn’t a show-off; she hadn’t let it go to her head.

Every day, for the last twenty-one years, Winifred had tended to the needs of the Taranaculus clivisphorum. People were amazed, naturally, at her dedication.

“There are possibly only four specimens left in the world,” said Winifred. “They should reproduce, but we simply don’t have the money.”

Donations poured in after that. A special compound was created, with the right climatic conditions.

And then, and then… it happened! Winifred was stung by the Taranaculus clivisphorum. On the finger. She had just enough time to swipe all four dead with a fly swot before she herself dropped dead from the poison.

“Take that, you ungrateful Taranaculus clivisphorums,” were her last words.

37 thoughts on “758. Winifred Seacock’s devotion

  1. Cynthia Jobin

    Most entertaining, Bruce. Of course you knew that the likes of moi would google taranaculus clivisphorum. Google said: did you mean ranunculus cliviaforum? And then they listed Winifred Seacock’s Devotion/Weave a Web. What some bloggers won’t do to get listed on google!

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      1. Bruce Goodman Post author

        I used to be #1 on a Google search for “Family Picnic”. In fact, there must have been thousands of school kids around the world handing up my “Family Picnic” story to their teacher! “I want you to write a story children on a family picnic.”

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  2. arlingwoman

    These Taranaculus sound pretty evil, like the blue ringed octopus or something. The sea down there is just filled with nasty things. It’s amazing anyone ever goes swimming, but I digress. Winifred should have done what Pauline was thinking, but alas, we were flummoxed by the evil TC.

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  3. Outlier Babe

    A shocking ending, indeed: A scientist who revealed her poor grasp of Latin grammar at the last. Shouldn’t it have been:

    “And thus, we BOTH die, but you, all four a’–take THAT, Taranuculus clivisphora!”

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      1. Outlier Babe

        Second time this week for a Latin fail. And I even googled this one (checking for plurals of other -um nouns after my first effort was a rhyme with “die”, but then I doubted myself. The universe is telling this know-it-all not to try.).

        This is, apparently, my week for making an ass of myself in various ways, on various FORA. Shall I stay offline, which risks, with me, dropping out again for six months, or just accept my ass-hood, pray it’s temporary, and forge ahead, Flipping a denarius.

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