741. Welcome to our world


How wonderful! Angelka and Steve have just had their first baby. It’s a girl! They have named her after two aunts, Greta Robyn. Aunt Greta reckons she’s as poor as a church mouse, but it’s just to cover up the stashes of cash she seems to have; Aunt Robyn lives on a bed of bank notes. Of course, they didn’t name the baby Greta Robyn in the hope of getting a windfall from the aunts. They liked the combination of names and it is good to respect one’s elders in family matters. The two aunts are the only relatives that Angelka and Steve have.

And what’s this in the mail? It’s a parcel from Aunt Greta.

Dear Angelka and Steve and wee darling Greta Robyn,

Congratulations on the wonderful baby! And congratulations sweet Greta Robyn on being born! Enclosed are some baby booties I knitted. I hope they fit!!!! And they’re pink!
I can’t wait to see her.

Aunt Greta.

And what’s this in the mail? It’s a letter from Aunt Robyn.

Dear Angelka and Steve,

I can’t let this occasion pass without saying I am horrified, literally horrified, that you have named your retarded baby after me. It is an insult. These days there are tests that can be done early in the pregnancy to determine wellness. I am utterly dismayed that you weren’t responsible enough to take this precaution.

Aunt Robyn

46 thoughts on “741. Welcome to our world

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      One can get by aunt or not! Pauline, do you know if the word “bootie” is a NZ usage for those little baby socks, or is it all over the English speaking world?

      1. thecontentedcrafter

        I think ‘bootie’ as a baby foot covering is probably inherited from our English roots. Though I believe to Americans the word refers to a very nice round rear end 🙂 But they threw proper English out along with the tea ……….. [excuse me, just ducking and running for cover] 🙂

        1. Cynthia Jobin

          Ahem…we still refer to those little knitted boots for babies as booties…but we also have that neologism about the derrière to which you refer….it came along sometime in the 70’s I think, with the song “Shake your bootie”….It’s not that we’re improper, we’re just innovative! 🙂

          ( I even theorize that we borrowed the thing from the British “boot” on a car!)

  1. Cynthia Jobin

    Dear Aunt Robyn,

    We meant to honor you but you are horrified and insulted, so we are changing the baby’s middle name to Anne. Robyn will be completely and forever expunged from her life.

    Angelka and Steve

    1. wolfberryknits

      When I was born and first introduced to my (slightly unpleasant) great grandmother she said ‘Bianca? What a bloody awful name!’ To which my Dad apparently replied ‘Well if we don’t bring her to see you then you’ll have no occasion to use it.’ She shut up after that. 🙂

  2. noelleg44

    Aunt Robyn is a cantankerous old thing, isn’t she! Guess which one will leave her money to the baby? I need to learn to knit booties – still hoping for a grandchild.

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Yes! And I have spent the last hour googling the V word – and here you used it! although misspelled! Virago! I typed in a search every word I could think of starting with VI – and when I saw your comment I thought THAT’S IT!!!!! Virago and Harridan are both worthy of a story!

        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          I normally try to ignore the FAULTS of others, but it’s just that I was looking for the very word that had been misspelled – so I couldn’t hide the correction!!!


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