Temperance (how she hated her name) bought three African violets. She was walking into the supermarket and there they were! In the florist’s in the foyer in the supermarket in the town. And they were on sale.
One was blue, one was pink, and one was white. She put them in her bathroom. There was a little shelf at the end of her bath. They looked perfect there. In fact, she almost wished visitors would ask to take a bath. Then they might see them! The toilet was separate from the bathroom. No visitor would see them at the end of the bath on their little shelf if they did a wee-wee while visiting. Still, Temperance (how she hated her name) enjoyed the African violets very much indeed, even if she was the only one to see them.
Then they stopped flowering. Just leaves. Temperance (how she hated her name) bought some African violet food. Just a brief splosh with lots of water once a week was enough. They should burst back into flower within days. Or so said the writing on the African violet food packet.
Next, she read that if you watered African violets with water in which one boiled eggs, then they couldn’t resist breaking into flower. They didn’t.
Use a contraceptive pill, said a friend. Just put a-past-use-by-date contraceptive pill in the soil and water. It will work wonders. It didn’t.
Temperance (how she hated her name) tried all these things, and still there were no flowers. No flowers! Oh no flowers!
And then, suddenly! suddenly! would you believe? suddenly! they shrivelled up and died.
Listen the story being read HERE!
I have poinsettia Temperence can have.
This was a chuckler, Bruce. I don’t know how you do this day after day!
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African violets behave the same way for me too. Temperance could change her name – maybe you should suggest that to her ……… and that’s another whole story right there 🙂
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Yes, I’ve done her that favor. She now calls herself Saintpaulia (in honor of her deceased plants).
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Ha!! You are so clever!!
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Bad karma killed them….that, and the “sploshing” of water. African violets hate having water on their leaves.
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Temperance…needs some silk plants.
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My sentiments exactly!
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Temperance-how-she-hates-her-name has a black thumb! Plus maybe those African violets, notably fragile, perhaps needed a little sunlight?
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Now I feel this strange compulsion to go out and buy some African violets. And, to change my name.
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Brilliant ending, Bruce. Bravo!
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I don’t know if you get ‘Bargain Hunt’ on TV over there, but the presenter, Tim Wonnacott, whenever speaking to contestants who share his prenomen, always adds the phrase (great name).
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Typical really of supermarket plants. Temperance (who now went by the name Saintpaulia, in honor of her deceased plants) now has a house full of various silk plants throughout!
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Maybe Bonzai trees is more her thing.
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I wouldn’t be seen bathing naked in front of a bonzai!
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Thank you for the innocuous little walk alongside Temperance. How I hate her parents for what they did to her with that name!
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At least they didn’t call her chastity – which could be a little like putting a restraining order on a baby…
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Oh I do like a happy ending.
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Thanks, Andrew. Happy endings undoubtedly account for the fact that people sing at funerals!
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