729. The best of friends

Tom and Seamus had been best friends for many, many years. Their families always took their vacation together at the lake. They were forever taking the mickey out of each other; pulling each other’s leg; having each other on…

Then one day, quite separately one from another, Tom and Seamus dropped dead.

The first thing they said upon arriving in the nether world was, “What on earth are you doing here?”

“I suppose we’d better find the pearly gates and see what the story is,” said Tom.

And there they were: the gates! Saint Peter was sitting at his desk looking rather bored.

“So,” said Saint Peter to Seamus, “I haven’t had time to check. What’s Tom been like? Has he been good?”

“He’s been the paradigm of goodness,” said Seamus. “Always kind. Integrity is what he has. If he says it, then it’s true.”

“And you,” said Saint Peter to Tom, “What’s Seamus been like?”

“The biggest bastard on God’s earth,” joked Tom. “I’d chuck him into hell if I was you.”

Unfortunately, Peter believed both.

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