724. Sean’s diseases


Sean reckoned he didn’t need to see a doctor. You could simply do the diagnosing on the internet. Just type in the symptoms and Voila! You could print off what was wrong with you.

Thus far Sean discovered he had acute disseminated encephalomyelitis, acute necrotizing hemorrhagic leukoencephalitis, Addison’s disease, agammaglobulinemia, alopecia areata, amyloidosis, ankylosing spondylitis, antiphospholipid syndrome, autoimmune angioedema, autoimmune aplastic, anemia, autoimmune dysautonomia, autoimmune hepatitis, autoimmune hyperlipidemia, autoimmune immunodeficiency, autoimmune inner ear disease, autoimmune myocarditis, autoimmune oophoritis, autoimmune pancreatitis, autoimmune retinopathy, autoimmune thrombocytopenic purpura, autoimmune thyroid disease, and autoimmune urticarial.

Tomorrow he would start on the B’s.

51 thoughts on “724. Sean’s diseases

  1. Cynthia Jobin

    How on earth did you get through the reading without cracking up? I’m laughing so hard at your rendition that I can hardly type.
    After hearing this, all I can say is that Sean certainly is allergic to a lot of cars!

  2. Shubha Athavale

    What a tragically funny (correct) account of today’s first world people!! And it is worse when some people try to diagnose what could be the matter with others!! I will relate your story to my boys, they experience this in their profession on a regular basis. Made my Sunday Bruce 🙂

      1. Shubha Athavale

        Bruce you’re right, I don’t think they can pronounce! They were never taught these terms in medical school 🙂

  3. Yvonne

    That’s rather tricky of Sean to have autoimmune oophoritis. Maybe when he gets to the “H’s” and checks out hermaphrodites, he’ll know why.

    Your reading was the best yet!

  4. Cynthia Jobin

    I tell myself to remember that, like all satires, there is a gem of truth in this, which, if not exaggerated is a good thing. I applaud the fact that a certain amount of the dissemination of information on the web (not taken to the extreme as here) about ailments liberates us from the paternalistic medicos who may sometimes have interests, other than one’s own, as priorities.

    Short of hypochondria, at least we can learn what questions to ask. Good satire, like this, has a good job to do. Exaggeration helps to keep us unexaggerated, but aware.

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Yes, I agreed with the wisdom of that, Cynthia. It’s sort of like the weather forecast: one can note that it’s going to be sunny, but it pays to have the umbrella handy. 😀

    2. Shubha Athavale

      So true Cynthia, especially in places where “user pays” is the norm, some doctors have given their tribe a bad reputation


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