Bury me flamboyantly clad.
No white silk shroud for me,
no brown and heavy sacking.
The Hawaiian shirt in the bottom drawer might do the trick
although I wouldn’t be seen dead in it while living.
Bury me flamboyantly clad.
The purple underwear perhaps,
with bright pink elastic bands.
You know the one? The faded writing used to read,
“Down dog! Down!” It’s quite unused for years.
Bury me flamboyantly clad.
No naked skin below the naval,
no hatless head with balding patch.
Green golfing trousers and yellow baseball cap.
Unironed one hopes; a bit of plaid; reverse the cap.
Bury me flamboyantly clad.
No history digger in a thousand years
must dig me up for study and say,
“Put this body back in earth.” No! No! He needs must say:
“Holy mackerel! Oh my God! Fetch the glass cabinet!”
To hear the poem read aloud click HERE.
Funny, Bruce. I’m sure someone can make it come true for you.
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But… but… but… I don’t actually have the purple underwear (nor the Hawaiian shirt!)
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Well, get out and buy a Hawaiian shirt and purple underdaks! Put them in that bottom drawer.
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Put them in the bottom drawers! Do you use the word “drawers” in the States for underwear?
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But, dear Bruce, Yvonne is not in the US…..but some people here do refer to their nether garments as “drawers”…….
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Yvonne is very cosmopolitan. The undergarment word that I most enjoy is “smalls”. I shall wash my smalls and hang them out to dry.
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Some ‘smalls’ are very large. Depends on who owns them.
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Well, I’m an Aussie (via Canada), so I did toy with the notion of using ‘drawers’, but resisted. I don’t know why. Twirly in the morning maybe?
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What a wretched mix of nations is this blog thing!
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Who you calling a wretch? Better than a wanton wench, I suppose.
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What did you recently say to me? Never let the facts get in the way of a good story? Well how about never let fiction get in the way of reality?
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LOL! I shall attempt to look to it!
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Pure delight, Bruce, pure delight!
Maybe you should include the poem in your Last Will and Testament, then someone else will have to run around finding a Hawaiian shirt and purple underwear I especially love the cap turned backwards….but if you want to be “viewed” at a wake you’ll also have to request a fully open casket and to be lain as if sleeping on your side, for the full effect.
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Thanks, Cynthia. Now there’s another possible verse: View me, flamboyantly clad. (There’s a lovely ambiguity!)
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I have my funeral song list but my clothing list has never been given a thought – now I must rush off and think about that!
Of course you must go flamboyantly dressed – maybe you could be sat up, baseball cap backward and slightly askew, looking as if you maybe imbibed a trifle too much and will awaken any moment feeling a tad curmudgeonly …………….
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LOL! I could perhaps be holding a whiskey tumbler! I’m sure the daughters could have the time of their lives deciding what mother should wear!
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But I thought you were going to be cremated, Pauline. I don’t think clothes are of interest, at the crematorium, though I know they ask about things like pacemakers and gold teeth…..
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No gold in teeth here, nor pacemaker – just five pieces of gauze for hernias, and three metal screws in the ankle.
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Nobody cares about those….no value on the open market
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Apparently the pacemakers play havoc with the crematorium equipment. They can explode.
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And that is called going out with a bang …………
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LOL!
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Yes Cynthia, I remembered that after I left the message – luckily the memory doesn’t have to be checked at the desk! Also no gold teeth or pacemaker so I should be good to go. Maybe we cremated lot should request that the memorial gatherers be dressed the way we would have been had we chosen burial ……… I can see Bruce dancing to ‘All my life’s a Circle’ in a long flowing tiered skirt with crochet top and cowboy boots …… 🙂
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Hee..hee…Pauline, you have just made my day!
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Pauline – I have more costume taste!
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I don’t understand Bruce – what are you saying?
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Now he’s stepped in it…….
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I’m waiting to see how he steps out of this one 🙂
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I didn’t just step out – I jumped!
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If one steps in it, one can step out…
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I thought the skirt was a bit plain!
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The skirt may be patterned any way you wish – make it out of several Hawaiian shirts for example – and also the cowboy boots can be any colour you choose – my favourite pair in the 90’s were bright red and in the noughties I graduated to a purple patchwork pair which I rather loved!
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Aroha to you!
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As long as she remembers to take the flowers home, that’s all that matters. Good poem Bruce
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Thanks! And yes – take the flowers home – that’s a good point!
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Love this. It should be in your funeral instructions. Having just come from a seminar on retirement, estate planning, financial planning and funeral instructions are in my whirling brain. The thing is, you should dress this way now if you really want.
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Who says I wear clothes now? (Just kidding!) I am currently wearing a lovely grey shirt, with a pair of grey shorts. (Just realized – that’s 2 shades of grey!)
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You can’t be viewed in flamboyant dress without preparing people. Color it up! I’m leaving it to a few other people to pick up on that shades of grey number and run with it!
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I’m with you, Lisa….to pick up on that grey number would be so obvious, and so, so boring.
On the other hand, the color grey is most fascinating from the point of view of the artist’s pallette, because it is mixed by combining secondaries. There are many more than fifty shades of it, and even the few you can discover if you try to choose a wall paint at the hardware store can confuse you. Grey is beautiful, but it is never just grey. It is also gray.
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Yes, it has so many permutations; think of shades of storm clouds (Hurricane Joaquin on the mind), guinea fowl feathers, doves, pavement, eyes, not to mention fur. I take it you have painted or may paint now? When you mix paints, the shades are so infinite. When someone says “it looks like a painting,” I often think about the fact that someone can see a color and somehow capture it or see light and convey it. Goodness. Off on another tangent. I think Grey may be more literary. Agnes Grey, this latest Grey (though not sure it’s literary; haven’t dipped into it) and maybe others. I have thought the e spelling was British and the a spelling was American?
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Yes, I do paint. (a well-kept secret.)
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Not any more!!!
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There’s also “gway” which is a gray spoken by a person with a speech deformity…. 😀
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The trouble I have with grey/gray is the spelling – I don’t know whether I’m Arthur or Erthur.
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Definitely Erthur…..
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I suppose it’s naither here not there.
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Naither hair nor thair
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Per comment to Cynthia, my dictionary has a notation after gray that it can also be grey, esp. British 😉 Looked it up after throwing around loose talk.
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I enjoyed the “loose talk”, and I know the spelling, though US v. British, is easy enough to have become pretty optional. I prefer grey, for a totally irrational reason: my synesthesia sees the letter “e” as somehow more of that coloring than it does the letter “a,” which is somehow closer to red. 🙂
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That’s very interesting. I can see that. I once told someone that something I was describing had a green smell and got a very arch “and what does color smell like?” in return for my efforts.
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You are likely a synesthetic and were speaking to one who is not.
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They are people most to be pitied if they don’t know what green smells like!
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Red is the sound of a trumpet. The clarinet is purple. The oboe is blue. The flute is yellow. Cor anglais maybe for green…
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I dunno….I think the oboe is more of a maroon….burgundy, maybe
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Burgandy wine maybe – but blue in the sense of Blues…
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Rad is a vary breyzen colur.
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Everyman spells it which ever which way. Free as a burd.
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Is there an emoticon for a snort?
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A snort is a shot (of alcohol) is it not?
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Yes, but I was referring to the noise of the nose…
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Only 48 more shades of grey to go, then.
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Uh-oh, now Cynthia is going to label me as boring. Some days are like that.
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You boring, Yvonne? Never!
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Ah, the old thespian adage: ‘keep ’em smiling, and leave ’em wanting more’!
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That’s the first thespian adage I’ve heard that didn’t either start or end with “darling”.
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Tee,Hee (darling!)
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Is that a young Bruce I see with his arm around a clown?
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It is. Taken in Boston a few years back during a parade that went past my door!
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Somehow you always attract the clowns.
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It’s the purple underwear that does it.
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And I am off to bed. Tomorrow is October 1 for me….
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Aloha to you!
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Something else to write into your funeral wishes: all attendees must be clown clad! 🃏
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One of the kings of France insisted his courtiers wore flamboyant clothing. He appeared in a dark suit and stood out. I would not like you (and the one or two others who came to the funeral if I was lucky) to upstage me!
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I have nothing more to add on any of the many topics/spellings/smells/colours and or clowns that have been mixed in here – except to say it is a pleasure to know you all 🙂
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It has been a ripe colourful mess!
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Great Bruce, flamboyantly clad, I like that 🙂
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Thanks, Andrea!
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Love this! My mother had strict instructions what she was to wear when she died even the lipstick I should put on her…
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