Lauretta and Johnnie had seven children all in all. The children were all grown up and married and whatever now, with kids of their own. Their son, Dougal, and his wife, Alma, didn’t have much to go on though. They had four kids and little money left over at the end of each week.
Dougal and Alma’s twentieth wedding anniversary was coming up. They had never been able to afford getting a family portrait professionally taken. They would love that, before the kids so quickly grew up and flew the nest. Dougal’s parents gave them a voucher to have the photograph taken as an anniversary gift – provided of course they get a copy of their son and daughter-in-law’s family for themselves.
The photos were taken. The proofs arrived!
In every one, sixteen year old Marion was pouting because her mother, on leaving the house, had said “You’re not wearing that” and made her go back inside and get changed.
In every one, thirteen year old Ivan thought it funny to have shut one eye.
In every one, thirteen year old (she was Ivan’s twin) Mona scowled because her friends were all going to see the latest movie about something and she had to have a “stupid picture taken”.
In every one, nine year old Campbell looked sour because he was made to hold “a bloody book by the bloody photographer like he was a bloody nerd or something.” (“Don’t swear dear,” said his mother).
In every one, Dougal the Dad looked like he had something stuffed down the front of his trousers, which he hadn’t, and Alma thought it was a scream and said “What’s that?” and Dougal said “You should know by now”, although it was just the way the light fell and had nothing to do with what you might be thinking.
In every one, Alma looked stunning. Stunning! “Why am I not surprised?” said Dougal.
The kids hate the photo. It hangs, framed, on their grandparent’s dining room wall.
Listen the story being read HERE!
They’ll probably fight over that portrait when they get older!
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That’s true!
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Family portraits should all have an accompanying story like this one attached to them – just to demolish the fantasy. 🙂 Good job Bruce!
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LOL! Yes indeed! I’m sure there’s a story and a half behind every family portrait! I think it was Vera Lynn who sang: Where do all the flies go in the winter when it’s cold? Behind the photograph of mother on her wedding day!
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Lol!! I haven’t heard that song!
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Have just discovered that it was sung by Gracie Fields:
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Weddings are for two people: the bride’s mother and the photographer. Never truer words spoken!
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😀 I once went to a wedding rehearsal for a society wedding. The vicar arranged everything around – two paces forward, one pace back – the positioning for photographs.
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Wasn’t Gracie Fields brilliant! I wonder if she wrote her own material?
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Not sure at all… whether she wrote things or note…
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Typical family! Things never change – you have to drug the kids to get them happy in a photo.
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LOL! All kids should be drugged until they’re in their mid-20s!
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Sounds like a typical family photo…
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A lovely Norman Rockwell in prose. Stunning, Mr. goodman, simply stunning! And just like a Rockwell, I love the accompanying artwork with little Ivan closing one eye! Where do you make these images?
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I use a now outdated version of Ulead PhotoImpact – bought out I think by Corel. And I have been to the Norman Rockwell Gallery somewhere in New England – and all of my coffee mugs are Norman Rockwell, (and the mug that holds my pens on my desk!)
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Oh, I just noticed the little nerd is holding a book! LOL. But what I love most is that all six are sporting frocks!
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Well I wasn’t going to draw the father in a pair of tight pants!
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The Rockwell Museum is in Stockbridge, Massachusetts (western part of the state) in the home where Rockwell actually lived. We used to stop there as a regular part of our summer trip to Tanglewood (Summer music camp for young musicians and outdoor performance shed for the Boston Symphony Orchestra). I love Rockwell’s work, despite the fact that art snobs have laughed at me for that opinion. 🙂
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Thanks for the whereabouts of the Rockwell, Cynthia. I love Rockwell too – I don’t care about snobs, they’re everywhere!
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As I read this, the words ’twas ever thus flashed though what it amuses me to think of as my mind. Posed group portraits are, by definition as well as by design, dreadful instruments.
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Am delighted that my blog caused a “’twas”to flash through any ones mind!
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Do you have a favourite family portrait Bruce?
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We have only the one b&w photo…! and it’s awful!
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You pulled a face, didn’t you? 😉
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I don’t need to pull a face!
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Haha!
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