Anyway, there was this girl. I had only just met her the night before, at a party at the surf club. Not that I belonged to the surf club but anyone could go to the beach party, and since I was staying at the beach for a week or so over summer I went to the party. And I met this girl.
And the next day we accidently ran into each other again, and we were lying next to each other on our towels on the sand. We were sunbathing. And I asked her if she could rub some suntan lotion on my back, hoping of course that one thing would lead to another. Not on the beach mind, but later somewhere or something. So she rubbed the suntan lotion on my back, and I had to make sure I didn’t turn over because that could’ve been embarrassing, with me in my speedos.
And then she asked me to rub suntan lotion on her back and the strings to the top part of her bikini were undone and I had to turn over but what the heck, these things are just natural anyway. So I did that and we were lying down again when this big muscular freak came ambling up the beach like he owned it. And he was one of the surf life-savers who spend three quarters of their day in the gym and the other quarter hoping people wouldn’t drown. And he kicked sand all over my back, which was greasy from the suntan lotion.
Well, I thought I’d better not make a fuss, because of the girl. I wanted her to see how nice I really was. And the guy came back and kicked more sand, and this time at the girl as well. So I said, “What did you do that for?” and he just laughed and said, “Go fuck yourself.”
Then the girl said, “Why didn’t you stand up for me, you wimp?” and I said I was just trying to be nice.
So the girl upped and left and ran after the muscular surfer, and as far as I know they went into the back of the surfing club building, and whatever-her-name-is and the surfer have been doing it for the last half hour.
You are a master of characterization, Bruce… insight maybe gleaned over considerable time and in many places, that stems from puzzlement, empathy, keen observation of fellow human beings.
( Sometimes I think I meet the ghostly presences of Flannery O’Connor or G.K.Chesterton in your stories….though probably not both at the same time…that would be a tête a tête interesting to imagine!)
What a thrilling comment, thanks Cynthia. Probably part of the characterization process might stem from having written lots of plays… Flannery and Gilbert have a coffee together somewhere could reveal something wonderful! I once wrote a play in which I had Edmund Campion meet Margaret Clitherow. They are both very great English Reformation saints. I was interested to know what would happen when two of the most intelligent persons of the Elizabethan era met up. All that happened was Edmund Campion asked Margaret Clitherow if she would sew a button on his jacket!
Where can I find the script? Or is it like those scripts written so long ago for student plays (because we could not afford the royalties to buy well known scripts and librettos) for all the beautiful, imaginative performances which shall remain—as theatre must—a magical moment of sound and light….
The script is here:
http://stagebarn.com/fulllength/pearlofyork.pdf
But it’s probably better to read the script of this play here – which I much prefer!
http://stagebarn.com/fulllength/cloudmother.pdf
It’s what goats do second best, only after grazing…they people watch. They study biped carnivores’ characterization or more so lack thereof.
That reminds me of the famous aria from Handel’s Messiah: “Where goats may safely gaze.”
Have you noticed, those *uckers always ram you when you turn your back?
In the butt! They just want a cuddle. Cuddle and they won’t ram ewe.
Eat ’em and they won’t ram ewe.
Stop! It’s a beautiful piece of music, and it’s SHEEP, may safely graze….
Handel borrowed extensively from himself (he actually did – which is why his operas are rarely performed, they’re such a mess) so I would like to think that gazing goats and grazing sheep… and cows safely chewing their cuds, could’ve occurred!
Actually “Sheep May Safely Graze” is a Bach Cantata. One I like very much.
Bloomin’ heck!!!! So it is – anyway, (Alleluia!) I’m now partially embarrassed you have saved me from total embarrassment, Cynthia. (I know my redeemer liveth!)
I imagine, with your pianistic skills, (and being from New Zealand) you might render it quite beautifully. It always brings me to tears, though I haven’t a rat’s rear of an inkling why.
It’s certainly famous BECAUSE it’s beautiful! Re rending it – I think I might rend it rather!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIUCRXMM4pE
A lovely rendition – with beautiful accompanying photos. (And not at all like Handel’s “Where goats may safely gaze”!) I think part of the beauty of the Bach piece is it’s apparent simplicity.
Sounds like one of those ads for body builders with a weakling on the beach!
Yes! I thought of that too!
“Nice guys” always finish last! But oh brother, what a waste of druthers. I must say I cannot blame the lifeguard, as his duty is to safeguard the swimmers, not the “sharks”.
I had to look up “druthers” and I see it is a word confined to the North American continent. What an excellent word! One must watch out for sharks feathering their own nest!
This made me think of a Steve Goodman Song ‘Don’t Get Sand in It.’ Link is https://stevegoodman.bandcamp.com/track/dont-get-sand-in-it Don’t believe the link on the lower right of the site offering to get you in contact with Steve. I think this might have been a posthumous album…
Thanks for the link – a song I enjoyed and had never heard before! (I also like his surname!)
Steve wrote The City of New Orleans and a bazillion other country and folk songs you’ve probably heard in the ether. Not to mention Go Cubs Go and The Dying Cub Fan’s Last Request, which only fans of the Chicago Cubs Baseball team would know
I have book mark his name to seek his music out.
And therein lies the truth on how life is!
Ain’t that the case!
And here was I thinking that was a selfie at the top.
Oh but Derrick it was a selfie 😀 but it’s at least 6 months old.
Blimey. What was it like when you grew up?
I can only conclude that life is like a cryptic crossword: the clues may seem gorgeous but the solution often it seems has nothing to do with the clue!!!
You really are young, then!
oops…
Save your oops for the world cup!
Not going to lie–it was the picture of the buff lifeguard that caught my attention and made me click on this post. 🙂
Yes – I don’t like to post too many selfies – just the occasional one!