Laurabella was a poet. She wrote a poem every day and posted it. Poems oozed out of her like pus from an infected scab. It oozed not just every day, but often all day every day. The verses would tumble out as fast as she could type. Up on Mt Olympus Polyhymnia remarked to Calliope that, as Laurabella’s Muse, she was absolutely exhausted trying to keep up.
Then suddenly, Laurabella stopped creating poetry. The Muses on Mt Olympus were relieved. At last they could have a rest.
These days it’s recipes. Recipes tumble out of Laurabella’s keyboard like slop in a pig’s trough. She can’t cook for nuts, and she hasn’t tested a single recipe, but her recipes pages have the biggest number of followers this side of the Yangze River.
But… oh! no!… What’s this? Laurabella is now posting her recipes in verse form. Her two creative urges rolled into one! She is becoming the Julia Child of the Poetry Anthologies. The Muses are unamused. They have phoned the three Fates. “And,” shouted Polyhymnia to Atropos, “bring your scissors to cut her thread of life!”
At once! shouted the Nine Muses. At once! shouted the Three Fates.
Listen the story being read HERE!
Oh Laurabella…
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! It’s the posting of “poems” twenty/thirty times a day that gets me.
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Haha
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Hey – writing recipes in verse should amuse the Nine Muses – they must have been having a bad day!
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90% of the recipes online are tasteless junket and more than 90% of the poems online are tasteless junket. Health advice, mental health advice, how-to-write advice, publishing advice, how to get more readers advice, book reviews, punctuation advice, over half a million people writing a novel in November… The mass communications phenomenon is quickly slitting its own throat.
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Laurabella needs a fella to distract her!
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No – she might start creating love poetry… !
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MEMO: from the Muses and Fates….
Laurabella, protégé dear,
You’re posting too muchly we fear;
Whether sauce literary,
Or verse culinary,
It adds up to word diarrhea.
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Laurabella thought, ‘What the hell!
I shall ring out some bells’
In a fit of campanology;
But food was a factor –
One must not distract her –
From her flight into campylobacter.
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I had to look up campylobacter…..good word!
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It’s not a word that’s good to catch!
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more sophisticated than my own expression: the creeping crud.
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Crud is a wonderful word. In the 1960s we used it as a friendly insulting term of endearment: Don’t do that you stupid crud…
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Rutabegas in rhyme, pasta in poetry, veggies in verse, bagels in balladry…
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Leeks behind the garden shed…
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Or turnip and pea.
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Bean there done that.
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Ha!!!!!!!
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Oh my it was the Fates that got after Orpheus, wasn’t it? and they really did an evil number on him. We must be careful with our artistic endeavors.
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All these erudite people immersed in the classics. I Google each one as needed!
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Ha! 😉
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Leeks behind the garden shed?!! Love it!
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It’s good for the compost!
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