Poem 13: They upped and left

13muses

I called on the Muses.
Help! I said.
They upped and left.

You’re so incompetent, they said,
we don’t want to have anything to do with you even if you wrote a Miltonic epic, so
they upped and left.

As you can see the Muses have well and truly gone, disappeared down the plughole, just like that, and all I wanted was a bit of help writing a couple of iambic pentameters or something, but oh! no!
they upped and left.

That’s going to be the last time I call on the Muses for a hand because they’re so up themselves and so choosy who they help out like Shakespeare and Hemmingway and Flannery O’Connor and all them guys as well as Emily Dickinson and what’s-his-name but not me apparently because I really really suck and anyway, according to some pictures I’ve seen, the Muses are not too hot themselves especially their view from behind as they leave and they certainly don’t have much dress sense and you know what? they lower the tone so I’m glad
they upped and left.

Anyway, as you can see (ahem),
I’m not doing too bad without them.

26 thoughts on “Poem 13: They upped and left

  1. Cynthia Jobin

    Well, I was confused by the picture, wondering which muses these were, or why there were only three of them….like the three Graces….maybe you consulted the wrong ones? At any rate, good riddance; as you say, you didn’t really need their help; you done good without them. And that refrain, “they upped and left”, comes through especially well when the poem is read aloud!

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  2. arlingwoman

    I did laugh at this one. Obviously, the muses think you don’t need them, at least the ones that have upped and left! Years ago I worked for Peace Corps and solved complaints from applicants, which sometimes involved talking to medical personnel. For one, I had to talk with “Miranda,” a nurse from the UK. She had plenty to say about the complainant, including that she was a horrible person with a foreign accent. I could have ignored this if she hadn’t said it several times. Finally, I couldn’t resist saying, “Miranda, you have a foreign accent yourself.” She (I’m not kidding) straightened up in her chair and said, “I don’t have a foreign accent. I’m British.” I did not make any points with her since I laughed and she had been serious. But the accent, for the most part depends on where you sit. I imagine you heard some accents in the Carolinas!

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