© Bruce Goodman 1 August 2015
Marvin was feeling a bit off colour. His wife told him not to be silly.
“You never get sick,” she said. “Never. Not in forty-seven years of marriage. If you got off your backside and did some exercise you’d feel better.”
Marvin mowed a bit of lawn and then came inside. He watched something on television.
“You need to give yourself a good shake,” said Marvin’s wife. “Give yourself a good shake. I’m going to town, and when I come back I want to see the lawn finished.”
“I’m feeling a bit off colour, that’s all,” said Marvin.
“Fresh air will do you good,” said Marvin’s wife. “Get yourself a bit of fresh air. You never get sick. Not in forty-seven years. Just get off your backside and stop mooching.”
She left for town. A pity; if she hadn’t been so hasty she could’ve called for an ambulance.
This reminds me of one of my favorite epitaphs,
etched into a granite headstone: I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK
LikeLiked by 2 people
LMFAO!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ahh thats so sad!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
And here I thought he was just going to tell her a dirty joke!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh Noelle! You know me too well!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Marvin’s wife must have been called Haste. In 47 years of marriage she should have seen that he was off color. But true to her name, she made waste of Marvin’s last day. And in the end the lawn never got finished.
LikeLiked by 1 person
At least she could now continue to have her affair with the hairy model down the road without feeling guilty. OMG! I forgot to mention any of that in the story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LMFAO! I knew that nameless wench was on about skulduggery.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah! So it was you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nay Sir. I do not go to town with married women.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh – I won’t uncover my nom-de-plume then.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Poignant
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Derrick. Poignancy comes naturally to me 😀 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just as well he wasn’t ill earlier!
LikeLiked by 1 person