© Bruce Goodman 6 July 2015
Marlene sat in the pew at her husband’s funeral. After fifty-two years of marriage, this was the time she had dreaded. Fifty-two years, and now all over.
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away”, Fred used to say. And, indeed, that was the case. They’d both eaten an apple a day. And they both always had excellent health. Except for the one time he’d broken a toe in the middle of the night trying to kick the door shut before the cat got out.
The number of apples devoured came to about thirty-eight thousand apples between them, Marlene figured. Of course, occasionally they’d missed – it was always the first thing for breakfast, an apple. Cored and peeled and sliced of course.
Once (it was so funny to remember) Fred had purchased a bag of apples and when they peeled and sliced two for breakfast, it was discovered they were sour cooking apples. That was one of the days they missed on their apple, although Marlene did use them to make an apple crumble.
Fifty-two years and an apple a day, thought Marlene. It’s funny the unimportant thoughts that come into your head at such an important time. But I suppose it was natural enough for Marlene to think of apples while sitting in the pew. After all, he’d died at breakfast when he choked on a slice of apple, hadn’t he?
Still kept the doctor away
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🙂 They definitely got to celebrate a good slice of life!
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🙂
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I was wondering what you would come up with 🙂
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😀 Thanks for wondering!
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Of course he did! I should have seen that coming …………
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Glad to have fooled such as wiley personage!
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Oh dear. I figured she poisoned him.
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Not everyone in every story meets a violent end!!
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😉
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Live by the apple, die by the apple.
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Is that the last (s)word?
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As with most writings I plagiarize, or paraphrase, or slaughter entirely while retaining the faint soupçon of resonance to a classic, the last word is variable. In my own copy, however, it is
“Amen.”
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It’s always the things you don’t expect, isn’t it!
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Yes! Always!
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What, no Heimlich maneuver? And that’s the question, isn’t it! Great story!
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Thanks. Perhaps Marlene was sick of eating apples!
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Is it wrong to laugh after reading a story where a man chokes on an apple and dies? 🙂
Oh well, I guess if you live by the sword, you die by the sword (or apple in this case)… 🙂
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😀 A belly-laugh in this case could indicate you could be as happy as pie – which might be construed as insensitive!
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I love apple pie! 🙂
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She wanted him dead. I knew he’d pay for those sour cooking apples. At that age they should have switched to applesauce!
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LOL! Sauce is much easier when you haven’t got your own teeth!
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Should have had a glass of wine a day…
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I do!
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