625. Sylvia’s mother

© Bruce Goodman 27 June 2015

625sylvia

Sylvia’s mother was an absolute conniving bitch. There are no other words for it. She was a manipulative scheming strumpet; a devious cold-hearted wench. I suppose you would like to know why.

Her name was Mrs Avery. I told Sylvia that her mother was a conniving, manipulative, scheming, devious, cold-hearted person, and Sylvia didn’t believe me.

I phoned Sylvia’s mother and asked for Sylvia. Her mother said that Sylvia was too busy to come to the phone and that she was trying to start a new life of her own. Sylvia’s packing, she said. She’ll be leaving today to get married to this guy down Galveston way. So don’t phone again, Hairy Legs, she said, and Sylvie, take your umbrella because it’s starting to rain. Sylvia’s about to catch the nine o’clock train.

Well, as I said, Sylvia didn’t believe me. But after that telephone conversation with Sylvia right next to me, in fact in the same bed, I put Sylvia on the phone. And Sylvia called her mother an absolute conniving bitch. There are no other words for it. She was a manipulative scheming strumpet; a devious cold-hearted wench.

So, that’s one less on the wedding invitation list.

Now let’s see. Who’s the next relative I want to get rid of? Once I’ve wiped all her relatives off the wedding list, I’ll dump Sylvia herself. I certainly wouldn’t want a mother-in-law like Mrs Avery.

She’s such an absolute conniving bitch. There are no other words for it.

22 thoughts on “625. Sylvia’s mother

  1. Kate Loveton

    Hmm… why do I feel the sudden desire to sing, Bruce? And about Sylvia’s mother? 😀 😀

    The conniving bitch!

    Perhaps if the marriage still goes on, you might invite Eleanor Rigby? She’s kind of lonely and would enjoy attending a good wedding…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Henry Game

    Strumpet!!
    That is a fantastic word. And Sylvia’s mother sounds awesome, a little sociopathic mind, but otherwise quite monstrous, we would have borne many little shits, had we met, I’m sure of it.

    Like

    Reply

Gentle thoughts and expressions of astoundedness are both gratefully accepted.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s