Kitty and Zane were a couple of characters. They were always playing little jokes on each other. They were very funny. At least they thought they were funny. They got on well, so it was not a surprise when they announced their engagement.
Zane was as skinny as a broom handle. I was going to say “Skinny as a rake” but they say to avoid cliches. So Zane was as skinny as a broom handle. And, as Kitty liked to put it, “You should see him naked, he’s exactly like a broom”.
Kitty was jolly. She was plump as a partridge. I was going to say “Round as a barrel” but they say to avoid cliches. So Kitty was as plump as a partridge. And, as Zane liked to put it, “I don’t know what a partridge is, but if you saw her naked, you’d think partridge in a pear tree”.
Come the wedding, and Zane said he’d organise the bridal march for on the way in. “It’ll be a surprise!” Kitty thought that real sweet.
So when Kitty started to waddle down the aisle, the band played “Roll Out the Barrel”. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Kitty never made it to the altar. She turned and stormed out. No sense of humour. Fat bitch.