Michael was a clergyman. He loved weddings. He loved the flowers! The dresses! The ribbons! The music! The groom and his men in the party! (And the bride of course!)
Michael was a little bit camp.
And here he was at this wedding. Oh! The music! The pretty bridesmaids! He was dolled up himself in a white alb and a stole.
“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
Suddenly, Michael felt the belt around his waist give way. His trousers were loose, and heading down to his knees. “Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
Bowing, he walked gracefully up to behind the altar. There he fiddled with a few things, as if he was meant to, while he wiggled out of his trousers. No one would see that he was trouser-less, because he was wearing the long white alb and stole. He returned to the bridal couple.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Oh the music! The applause! The bride’s bouquet!
The wedding party departed the church. Michael turned and proceeded back up to the altar. It was then he noticed something: it wasn’t a solid altar. It had open legs. You could see right through it.
His trousers were in full view in a heap in the middle on the sanctuary carpet.